Page 50 of Paradigm

“Too bad. Enya and Violet are busy, and we all want to know what’s going on with you and Eline, so you’re coming to lunch with us, and you’re going to fill us in. I’ll buy, if that makes your lack of decision on the matter any easier.”

Arlowe looked at Gabi and said, “You date her. How do you deal with it?”

Gabi smiled up at Sarai, who was behind her, and said, “I kind of like her. That makes it easier.”

“Hilarious,” Sarai replied sarcastically. “Lunch?”

“Fine. Whatever,” she said, deciding to give in because it would be easier for her this way.

She would get a free meal out of it, and Sarai would then be responsible for telling Violet and Enya all the not-so-juicy details of her driving Eline home after the bar.

Last night, when they had stood up from the booth together, Arlowe hadn’t hesitated. She had placed her hand on Eline’s back because it had always felt like it belonged there; like she was supposed to be touching her, helping her out of the bar, as if Eline had needed any help out of a room. Then, as she’d driven Eline home, she had wanted to reach for her hand, put it in her own lap, and hold it for the rest of the drive. She’d really wanted not just to walk Eline to her door, but to go inside with her, make her a tea that would help her sleep, and then help her get into bed. She would’ve stayed over had Eline asked, and she would have held her all night long, making sure Eline stayed asleep the whole night, even if it meant that her arm, which she inevitably would’ve had under Eline, had gone numb. She would’ve gladly woken up with an arm that she couldn’t feel if that meant she got to have Eline in her arms, breathing softly and evenly against her chest, with her arm wrapped over Arlowe’s stomach.

“Earth to Arlowe,” Sarai said.

“What?” she asked.

“Are you going to tell the nice man behind the counter here what you want for lunch?”

Arlowe looked at the guy who was standing in front of various meats that she could choose from at the barbecue place they went to occasionally.

“Um… A two-meat plate with sliced brisket and pulled pork, please.”

He nodded, and Arlowe looked down at the tray she had on the metal rack. She pushed it down a little to make space for Sarai and Gabi to put their trays down as well, and when the guy on the meat section today slid her plate down to the next guy, she ordered her usual two sides, which were mac and cheese and cornbread.

As the next person added her sides to the plate, Arlowe thought about the time she’d talked about the best macaroni and cheese that she’d ever had to Eline, who’d never had mac and cheese before in her life. They’d sold the boxed stuff at a store there, so Arlowe had bought them some for Eline to at least try, and while they’d eaten, she had told Eline about how her grandma used to make the best macaroni and cheese that had been so perfectly creamy, she’d had dreams about the stuff.

“Arlowe, drink,” Sarai barked.

“Shit. Um… Iced tea,” she told the person at the register, who handed her a cup to fill herself. “She’s buying,” she added and nodded at Sarai.

Then, she went over to the drinks station, filled her cup with raspberry iced tea, and found them a table. After sitting down, she quickly reviewed the different barbecue sauces in the caddy there, pulled out the one that was a bit on the sweet side, and added some to her plate. Sarai and Gabi arrived a moment later, just as she was about to take her first bite.

“Couldn’t wait for us?” Gabi teased.

“I’m hungry. I skipped breakfast.”

“That’s very unlike you. You’re usually up all night and taking a break around breakfast, so you at least grab cereal,” Sarai noted.

“Not anymore. You’ve all converted me to normal business hours, which is annoying.”

“Is it, really?” Sarai asked as she grabbed napkins from the caddy next to the sauces. “Do you miss getting to set your own hours?”

“Part of me does, yeah. Don’t you miss when it was just the four of us working in the hot or cold garage, depending on the time of year? I’d stay up late, go to bed, and come back out for our morning meetings.”

“I do sometimes,” Sarai replied. “Now that we’re in an actual office and have other people around, I can see the fun in what we were doing before, but when we were still in that garage, and I was sweating and worried if we’d even have a company the following week, I was praying for what we have now.”

“Me too,” she said. “The other night, when Eline came over, I couldn’t even stay up all night.” She shook her head and stabbed at her macaroni and cheese. “I guess I’m getting older, and my body no longer likes me staying up, pounding sugar and energy drinks that consist mostly of sugar. At least, I can’t do it regularly anymore.”

“Do you want to?” Gabi asked. “I guess I get the high that comes from staying up and coding something – I’ve done that before, but I don’t know… I think I prefer to go to work now, come home with Sarai, and we can have dinner or just hang out before we go to bed, and it’s just really nice. I don’t feel like I need to work all the time. I can if I want to, but it’s nice not to and to get some actual sleep.”

“Well, you also have someone to go home to, or with, I guess, since you two usually drive in together.”

“You could, too,” Sarai suggested before she took a bite of the brisket she’d ordered.

“Is that how you segue to asking me about Eline and our drive home, where nothing happened?”

“Nothing? Arlowe, really?”