Page 83 of His Untoward Hate

“Wouldn’t it be better if I ended my suffering sooner? Is it selfish to ask Him to take my life now? Because if He won’t…”

He paused. “…then I will.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he yelled; the words exploded from Sky before he could stop them.

Sky’s hand was forward, directed at Jude.

“How dare you say those things in front of me? How many times do I have to tell you not to think like that?” Sky’s voice skyrocketed, shaking with anger and frustration. “I’m warning you for the last time, Jude. I told you before, didn’t I? You promised me. That wasn’t a suggestion—it was an order. And whether you like it or not, you’re going to keep that promise just like you always do when I ask. Do you understand me?!”

Unable to look at him any longer, Sky turned away and began pacing around the room. Every step was restless. He was furious, helpless, disappointed, frustrated, and terrified all at once. If he kept staring at Jude, he was not sure what he might do.

“I should’ve died last night,” Jude whispered.

Sky froze.

“You should’ve just let me die. You should all just let me die so everyone can finally be happy. I was supposed to be dead. I should be dead!”

Something inside Sky snapped. His fist connected with Jude’s face.

It happened so fast.

The room fell silent. Sky could not process it. He could only stare at his own trembling hand, shocked by what he had just done. Jude brought a hand to his cheek, holding the spot where Sky’s fist had landed. The instant reality sank in. Sky rushed toward him and gently cupped his face.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” he said hoarsely. “I lost control.”

“Hit me again!” Jude slapped Sky’s hands away and grabbed his wrists instead.

“Punch me!” Jude shouted. “Hit me harder! Beat me up!”

Before Sky could react, Jude seized his hands and tried to force them back toward himself.

“Stop.” Sky pulled away, but Jude refused to let go.

“Kill me!” Jude cried, his voice cracking. “Please, just kill me! Just kill me! Isn’t that what you want too?!”

“I said stop it!” Sky’s scream blasted through the walls.

With a sharp tug, he yanked his arm free from Jude’s grip. The force was stronger than he intended, causing Jude to stumble and fall sideways.

The moment it happened, Sky froze.

Shock washed over him as he stared at Jude. It felt as though he was watching someone else move in his place.

“I’m sorry.”

The words slipped out before he could stop them. Sky did not apologize. In fact, he could not remember that he had said those words to anyone, especially to Jude.

But now, they came easily.

And because seeing Jude like this hurt more than he wanted to admit.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Sky closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Let go of me!” Jude struggled against him, trying to break free.

Instead, Sky tightened his hold.

Jude kicked, pushed, and fought desperately to escape his embrace while tears streamed endlessly down his face. He cried so hard that eventually his strength began to fade.