Page 66 of Blue Moon

Chapter 29

Sawyer

Sol stood in front of me in one of my old T-shirts I’d given her and some baggy sweats with tears running down her face. How could I have ever left her?

“What are you doing here?”

“Sol, I love you. I’m so sorry about how I behaved. You were right about me. I was scared. I was a total fucking coward. I didn’t believe you could really love me. But this last month without you has been the worst month of my life. I missed you so much, babe. And I swear to you, I haven’t been with anyone else. I love you. Please forgive me.”

She blinked and wiped her eyes with her hand.

“What? No. You were right. I’m a fucking mess. Why would you love me? I’m a narcissist. I’m fake. You deserve better than me. I should be apologizing to you.”

I wrapped my arms around her. “No, you’re everything. You’re beautiful and patient and loving and sweet and smart. I didn’t even know how much I loved you until you were gone.”

“Well, that was an act. For my followers. I have no friends. Even my parents never see me. I have no one, Sawyer. At least you have your squad. Declan and Beck love you. I’m fake. No one knows me—I don’t even know who I am.”

I held her as tightly as I could. “I do, Sol, I do. I love the way your lip crinkles when you are mad, and the way you tug your hair when you are nervous. I love the way you put me in my place when I’m an asshole and the way you worry about me when I’m flying. I love you, Sol. Not Solana San Francisco. Not your fake-ass pictures, but I love you.”

She sobbed in my arms. “I hate myself, Sawyer, I do. You have a purpose in life. You’re a fucking hero, and I do nothing. You were right about me the first day we met. I’m a joke, a fucking joke. You deserve better than me.”

Hearing her say those words gutted me. She was everything to me, yet she felt so empty. And instead of being there for her, I had added to her anxiety. I didn’t deserve her.

“Don’t say that. You totally changed me. Before I met you, I never wanted any relationship. I just fucked to feel good, to numb the pain, but I never felt anything, Sol. Nothing, until you. You made me feel alive, more alive than being in that fucking plane. I’m a new man because of you. I love you.”

And finally, she broke. After all that denial and emotion, she wrapped her arms around me, kissing me, healing me with her touch.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m a wreck. I love you so much. You gutted me when you dumped me. I had never been so sure of anything. I can’t believe you are back here.”

I kissed my woman and vowed this time to never let her go. No matter what.

I threw her down on her sofa. Every time we’d had sex it had been so sweet and loving. But this time, I wanted to show her how much I loved her, how much I needed her, how she was my whole world.

I took off my clothes, undressed her, and climbed on top of her. My mouth covered hers and our kisses were almost manic, insatiable. I couldn’t get enough. I rubbed her pussy, and she was soaking wet.

I quickly rolled on a condom, grabbed my cock, and plowed into my baby. She groaned when I took her deep. God, she was still so fucking tight. I was worried she wouldn’t like my roughness, my urgency, my desire, but Sol attacked me back, gripping my ass, urging me deeper into her.

I looked into her eyes. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too.”

I fucked her harder, faster, as I sucked on her tits. Her breath sped up, and my baby was so close. I rubbed her clit and slammed into her over and over, again and again until she came all over my cock.

Sol had been right—sex was the best when you were in love.

After we’d recovered, I threw the condom in the trash and sat back on the sofa.

I pulled her to me and stroked her hair.

“Sol, I need to tell you something.”

A look of horror crossed her face. “Are you still going to Japan?”

I shook my head. “No, I changed my orders to San Diego. I wanted to live near Beck and Paloma. I’m hoping you will move down with me.”

“Of course, I will. What changed your mind?”

“You. I want to be with you. I don’t want to deploy. As an Angel, I have my pick of duty station. We will have three years together there while I train young pilots.”

She beamed. “Wow. That will be cool.”

I exhaled. I needed to tell her the truth. “Also, I need to tell you something else.”

“What?”

“If this scares you or you don’t want to be a part of my life, I understand. But I need to be honest.”

She held my hand. “Tell me. Do you have a kid?”

Man, she could read me like a book. “It’s not what you think. There’s this boy, but he’s not my biological son. It’s a long story. But he reminds me of me. I want to adopt him. But I need you to know that this is not why I’m getting back together with you. You’re young. If you aren’t ready to be a mom, that’s fine. We can take our time and even live separately if you want. I don’t want to be with another woman. I can raise him on my own if I have to. The adoption will take six months to get finalized. But I want to be his father.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Fuck, I screwed up again. I should’ve told her before we’d made love.

“Sawyer, I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you even more.”