Page 44 of In at the Deep End

“Owen…”

He drew a slow breath. “I don’t think I can keep pretending anymore.” The corners of his eyes pricked.

“You’re frightening me.” He turned, and she stared at him. “Oh God. What is it? Are you ill?”

“No, I’m not ill.”

“Then tell me.”

His mouth was dry. “I…” He stopped again.

She reached for his hands. “They’re freezing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Owen…”

“I’m so, so sorry.”

Now she really looked frightened. “For what?”

He stared at their joined hands. “I think…” He took another breath, then realised he had to see her face. He raised his chin. “I’m gay.”

She gave him a tiny, confused smile. “That’s not funny.”

“And that’s why I’m not laughing.”

Cyn blinked. She searched his face—and then let go of his hands. “You’re not gay.”

“I wish that were true.”

She stared at him for what felt like forever. “When?”

He frowned. “What?”

“When did this happen?”

He almost laughed. It was the same question he’d spent years asking himself.

“It didn’t happen. I… I’ve always been like this.”

Her face tightened. “Oh.” She swallowed. “Oh. Wow. That explains a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

Another swallow. “I thought you just didn’t want me anymore.”

Shit.

Owen closed his eyes. “God, Cyn… no. I loved being with you. I still do.”

“But?”

“I kept waiting for the rest. The passion. I thought it would come.”

“If you’re telling me this now, I’m guessing it never did.”

His throat seized. “No.”