Page 43 of In at the Deep End
“Did you love Cyn?”
He sighed. “Very much.”
Matt took a deep breath. “Then why didn’t it work?”
Owen didn’t answer immediately. He folded the paper napkin between his fingers, buying himself a few seconds.
“Because there are different kinds of love.” Matt frowned, and Owen met his gaze. “Cyn was my best friend. She still is, in many ways. I admired her, trusted her, laughed with her. I loved raising Callum with her. If you’d asked me back then whether I loved my wife, I’d have answered yes without hesitation.” He looked down at the table. “What I didn’t understand was that there was another kind of love I’d spent my whole life trying to ignore.”
Matt said nothing.
“It wasn’t that my love for Cyn disappeared.” Owen’s voice was quiet. “It was that I finally stopped pretending the rest of me didn’t exist.”
“Can you tell me the whole story?” Matt gave him a beseeching glance. “Because I’d really like to understand.”
“It’s not a particularly flattering story.”
Matt smiled. “The best ones rarely are.”
2011
Owen stood at the kitchen window, watching the last of the daylight disappear beyond the fence. He’d been standing there long enough for the kettle to grow cold.
Behind him, the television clicked off.
Cyn chuckled. “Callum waited until bedtime to tell me all about his day. His science lesson, of all things. Our son is fascinated by electricity. I have visions of him sticking a fork into a plug socket just to see what happens.”
“He’s too sensible for that. Besides, that conversation was just another excuse to stay awake.”
“Oh, absolutely.” She laughed. “Tomorrow it’ll be dinosaurs. Or volcanoes. Whatever buys him another five minutes.”
The kitchen fell quiet again.
Owen kept staring out into the gathering darkness. A moment later, she stood beside him, leaning against the worktop.
“You’ve been somewhere else all week.” Her voice softened. “Not physically. Just… here.” She touched her own temple.
He closed his eyes. “I know.”
She rested a hand between his shoulder blades. “Is it work? A problem with the business?”
“No.”
“Money?”
He shook his head.
“Your mum?”
“No.”
She waited.
Owen loved that about her. Cyn had never felt the need to fill every silence. She understood that sometimes he needed one to find the words.
Tonight, he wasn’t sure the words existed.
His chest tightened. What he was about to do would change both their lives forever. He’d spent sixteen years protecting this secret.
