Page 152 of The Incendiary

I was beginning to wish I’d stayed there.

“And if they didn’t fuck me?” I uttered, my throat hoarse.

I couldn’t get the correct word out, either—what very easily could have happened to me. I would be thanking the gods for the rest of my days that it hadn’t.

“I…” His nostrils flared as he stewed. Fury simmered low, and deeply, and so dangerous within me that I knew if my power wasn’t still absent, I would have set this entire infirmary on fire.

But his silence and hesitation told me everything I needed to know. He planned on doing nothing, as long as they didn’t rape me. He was so blinded by their success in killing the Butcher, I wondered how much he truly cared about the rest.

The sliced flesh of my thighs screamed as I carefully stood. I stumbled, barely regaining my balance, gasping in pain and holding my side but dodging Elias’s grip as he reached for me.

“They just killed the Butcher, Fera,” he reminded me as I began to limp away.

“I know,” I rasped out, unable to look at him.

“For the sake of all of us⁠—”

No, not all of us.

“—I must prioritize the most imminent danger!” he insisted, his voice rising. “For hundreds of years, the Butcher has put us through absolute hell!”

“It was Molochai!” I shouted, the force of my voice painfully straining my ribs.

“I’m talking about who wielded the blade!” Elias shouted. “The Butcher killed my sister. The Butcher killed my parents. He killed thousands of people over centuries. Do you not understand the threat he posed?”

“I… I do,” I admitted weakly.

“Then you also understand that there is nothing more important than his demise, which those men achieved. They finally fucking killed him, Fera,” he repeated in disbelief. “So, no matter how much I might want to punish Gerard and the others for this, I can’t.” He ran his hands through his hair again. “Fuck. I told you not to provoke them.”

“They are spies for Molochai, Elias, who are privy to some extremely sensitive information because you didn’t notice.” I turned back to look at him. “And I am a cadet whose leader is abandoning me when I need help.” My voice cracked on the final word.

“What?” He reared back, eyes wide in disbelief. “Fera, I sent them after the Butcher for more than one reason, one of which was to prove their loyalty. I know they can be vile, but if they were traitors, they wouldn’t have killed him.”

I hadn’t thought it possible for my stomach to sink further from disappointment, but it did. My last frayed shred of hope for him snapped. What if they had done worse to me? Would that have been enough for Elias to show he cared and intend to punish them accordingly?

I unlocked the door and pressed on. “I understand their victory is all you can see right now, but when you go looking for them and realize that they’ve already fled, probably back to Molochai, maybe you’ll believe what I’m trying to tell you.” I winced at the pain in my wrist while turning the doorknob. “And maybe you’ll be forced to sit with the fact that you were the one that invited me into a group of men you weren’t sure were safe in the first place.”

“Because I trusted you could handle yourself!” he snapped. “Because I believed in you, Fera.”

Salty tears stung the abrasions on my cheek. “So did I,” I whispered under my breath.

“Fera!” he called after me, but I limped through the door while holding pain relief serum and cloth bandages against my chest like the precious goods they were. At this moment, as this girl, they were my only weapons to fight back with. Gerard and the others killed the Butcher of Nyrida, and that seemed to be enough to discredit anything I had to say.

I was unwilling to hear another word or spend another second near Elias. As I trudged in pain back to my cabin, all I could think about was that if Gavin were here, those four men would already be dead.

FORTY-FIVE

ARYELLA

I entered the cabin as quietly as possible. The curtains were closed, allowing very little moonlight to illuminate my path to bed. Even if I hadn’t been too drained to use Aesta’s light, I still wouldn’t have risked waking the twins. I let out a tired, relieved breath when my outstretched hand touched the edge of my mattress, but then I went too far and bumped a small wooden tray off my bedside table. It fell to the floor with an obnoxious clatter that disrupted the silence.

“Shit,” I hissed.

Covers shuffled in the twins’ bunks. I spent too long debating what to do and how to hide. Mavic moved quickly, grabbing a match and lighting the lantern at his bedside before I could crawl under the covers and conceal myself. Our room was just small enough that a single lantern cast just enough light for them to see me.

“Ary?” Mina’s sweet voice trailed down from her top bunk. “What’s wrong? What are you doing up?”

Mavic peered hard at me for seconds that felt like eternity before he realized what he was seeing. He threw his covers off his legs, grabbed the lantern, and stalked toward me. “What in the hell happened to you?”