Page 54 of The Fall

“Depends on what it is,” he answers, studying me.

I hesitate. I know it’s not a good idea to ask for this, but I know if he walks out of this room right now, I’d be too nervous to ever ask again.

“Will you kiss me? Just once.”

A look of pain crosses his eyes, and for a moment, I think he’s going to say no. My entire body clenches, preparing for the rejection, but it never comes.

Instead, he cups my cheek with one hand and puts his other hand on my waist, pulling me close. Then he’s kissing me.

It’s a slow kiss, like he’s been dying to do this and is now relieved that it’s finally happening. That’s how it feels for me, too. His lips are just as soft as I expected them to be, and when his tongue slides against mine, my core tightens.

Both of his hands move to my face and back into my hair as he deepens the kiss even more. My entire body feels like Jell-O as I let him kiss and kiss and kiss me.

When he finally pulls away, we’re both breathless. He rests his forehead on mine, and we stand in silence, afraid to lose the moment.

“That was a bad idea,” he says, finally.

My stomach sinks. Maybe it was, but I don’t regret it. If he left without me asking for a kiss, I wouldn’t have been able to stop wondering what it would be like.

“Why?” I ask, shakily.

“Because now, once will never be enough.”

Relief washes over me. Maybe he doesn’t regret it after all.

He leans down and kisses me once more, a quick one, not nearly enough to satisfy me. “I’ll see you at the rink tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I say breathily, hating that I’m showing him exactly how much he affects me. “Yes. I’ll be there.”

He looks me over before walking out of my room. I hear my sister say something and him respond, but I have no idea what they said. I’m still standing in the same place, completely shocked that I just kissed my coach. Not only that, but I let him touch me. I definitely wanted to do more than just touch.

“For the love of god, are you ever going to put pants on?” my sister says, walking into my room and pulling me out of my lust haze.

“You realize this is my room, right? Pants are optional,” I tell her as I turn to face her.

“Well, I know lover boy is gone, so I figured it’d be safe to come in now.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, by the way.”

She laughs and throws her hands up in defense. “How was I supposed to know you were being finger-banged by your coach? You literally never let anyone spend the night.”

She’s right. I don’t. And while I didn’t mean for him to spend the night, I like that he did. I slept like a rock.

“It just sort of happened. He picked me up from that party I went to with Max and I asked if he wanted to watch a movie. We kind of just fell asleep.”

“And you woke up to his fingers inside you?”

“No! We were… I don’t know what we were doing, but he’s my coach. I can’t do anything else with him.” Apparently.

“Seems a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

I groan and sit down on the edge of my bed, putting my head in my hands. “Yeah, but he told me it can’t happen again.”

“Oh, please. That man looked giddy as hell when he walked out of here. There’s no way he won’t come back for seconds, especially when you guys have to see each other every damn day.”

“That’s exactly why it can’t happen, Kels.” I pick my head up and look at her. “He’s my coach. I will see him every day.”

“So what? You see Max every day and still fuck around with him.”