Page 88 of Guarding Colton’s Witness

“But what if I am in trouble because I was bad?”

“Then I’ll…” Not her, and the thought had her blinking back tears. “Then someone will tell you, and they’ll explain why. But, Sam, you’re not a bad boy. I need you to believe that. You might do something to get in trouble, but that doesn’t mean you’re bad. It just means that you’re a boy and sometimes boys…and girls do things they shouldn’t.”

A beautiful smile filled his face. “I’m so glad I’m not a bad boy.”

Her heart cracked a little at seeing that smile. She’d promised herself she’d never let another child touch her the way Mikey had, but here was this little boy who’d slipped right in when she wasn’t paying attention. It didn’t change anything, though. She had to do what was best for him.

“Do you remember I talked to you about your new foster family, the Baileys?”

His smile vanished as he nodded.

“You’re going to go live with them today, and—”

“No! No, Matti. I want to live with you and Doc.” He crossed his arms over his little chest. “I won’t go. I don’t care if that means I’m a bad boy.”

“Sweetie, you have to. They’re excited to meet you, and they’re waiting for you now.”

He jumped up and ran down the hallway. After taking a moment to swipe at the tears running down her cheeks and composing herself, she followed him. Only when she reached his room, he wasn’t there. Nor was he in her bedroom or the bathrooms. Since she knew he hadn’t left the house, she didn’t panic.

“Sam, come on out so we can pack your things.” The Baileys were expecting them this morning. When he didn’t make an appearance, she went to her closet to get her suitcases. While in there, she spied the tips of two little shoes peeking out from under an ankle-length coat hanging at the back.

“I don’t know where Sam is, so I guess I’ll have to decide what to pack for him to take with him. Does he want his toys, I wonder?”

She rolled her large suitcase and the medium-sized one to his room. She’d packed all his clothes in the medium one when from the corner of her eye, she saw him standing just inside the room. Pretending she didn’t see him, she opened the large suitcase. “Which toys should I put in here?” she mused.

“Everything.”

“Oh, there you are. Well, let’s see if everything fits.”

Everything did, and soon the suitcases were loaded in the car and they were on the way to the Baileys. Sam refused to say another word to her, wouldn’t answer her questions, wouldn’t even look at her. She watched him in the rearview mirror, and all he’d done since getting in the car was to stare out the window.

Her heart was breaking, and as she drove, she did her best to believe she was doing what was best for him.

When they arrived at the Baileys’, she unbuckled Sam from the car seat with hands that trembled more than she cared to admit. His small fingers clung to her shirt as she lifted him out, and when she set him down, he slipped his hand into hers as they walked to the porch.

“I wished you loved me,” Sam said so softly she almost missed it.

A knife to her heart wouldn’t have hurt as much. Before she could respond, the door opened and Jacqui Bailey stepped out. “Here he is,” she said with a big smile.

Sam shrank behind her, burying his face against the back of her leg. “I think he’s feeling a little shy today,” Matti said, fighting to keep her voice steady. She’d never wanted to cry before when bringing a child to their foster family…except for Mikey. Still, she forged on, reaching behind her and taking his hand. “Sam, can you say hello to Mrs. Bailey?” He didn’t answer, but she felt him shake his head against her leg.

Jacqui came down the porch steps. “Hello, Sam. My son, Miles, will be home shortly, and he’s excited to play with you.”

Still, he said nothing, and Matti stepped to the side, exposing him to Jacqui. She lifted his hand to put it in Jacqui’s, and halfway to doing that, she froze.

She couldn’t do it.

“This is a mistake,” she whispered, almost to herself. She met Jacqui’s puzzled gaze. “I’m sorry. I can’t… I can’t do this.”

Understanding entered Jacqui’s eyes, and she smiled. “I see. Well, he looks like a boy I’d want to keep, too. I wish you both all the happiness in the world.”

“Thank you,” Matti said with deep feeling. She kneeled in front of Sam. “Let’s go home.”

Hopeful eyes peered at her. “I can go home with you?”

Matti hugged him. “Yes, to our home.” She didn’t know what hoops she’d have to jump through to adopt him, but none of that mattered. She’d move heaven and earth for this boy.

“The Bailey home will be ready for your next child needing one,” Jacqui said as Matti walked with Sam back to the car.