Page 41 of Forced Bonds

“Just try and see if I’ll ever shift around you again.”

I rolled my eyes. We were finally on the way to his house to get some down time. Zar had called Altaur once we were back in the car—after a long walk with a displeased alpha wolf—and Altaur had ordered us to return to the hotel and grab our things, and then leave the city and return to Keen. Apparently, werewolves needed their alpha around and Chris being gone for so long meant they weren’t faring well. It hadn’t been long, in my opinion, but I couldn’t really tell how a werewolf should feel.

“We’ll be home soon,” Zar interrupted with a fond tone before I could snap at Chris again. The word home hit differently this time. My home had been a cold apartment that was my refuge and nothing more. Now my home was these two infuriating men, but I still wouldn’t be without them, however crazy that felt to acknowledge.

Chris seemed to brighten at the idea, too, a small smile forming on his lips. “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed tonight.” And with those words my mood plummeted. His bed. Would I sleep alone in a guestroom? Was there even room for me? Zar didn’t need more than a power nap to function, but I would enjoy actually getting some sleep for once.

We drove the last five minutes in silence until Zar declared we’d arrived. How he knew where Chris lived was a mystery. Actually, it really wasn’t. Of course, Zar had figured out where he lived. He likely knew of my poor excuse for a home as well.

We got out of the car, Chris all but skipping inside, eager to be where he felt at home the most. I suddenly longed for my cold apartment. Our bonding had been forced and hurried, so even though I’d accepted them, I still got these sprouts of doubt, simply because I’d yet to truly know them. They were mine, I knew that, but I still had a lot to learn before my self-doubt could be quieted.

I was the next to enter, feeling calm instantly as the scent of pine trees surrounded me. This was Chris’ home. There was no doubt about that.

“Maybe a shower and some clean clothes would do us all good,” Zar suggested as he locked the door behind him, dropping our bags on the floor with his many shopping bags.

Chris clapped his hands, rubbing them together. “A shower sounds amazing.”

I just nodded and followed their lead. I didn’t have anything clean left, so a shower wouldn’t be very effective in the end, but it was easier to just follow and quiet my mind for a bit.

“This is the guest room with an attached bathroom,” Chris waved his hand at the room and I dutifully walked inside. It was like my body was running on stubbornness alone. I had zero energy left after these eventful days and I knew I would soon shatter or pass out.

The room had a queen bed, two night stands and one dresser. The bathroom door was open so I went straight there, eyeing the free-standing tub with a mix of dread and excitement. I was excited to get in but dreaded getting out of it again. I doubted I would have the energy to pull my body out once it had started to relax.

I closed the door behind me, ignoring the muttered voices of my men as I turned the water on and undressed. Maybe I needed to see a therapist or something, my mind and body were working, but I felt so empty. So… cold.

When the tub was half full, I got in, sitting down and hugging my legs, then I closed my eyes and grasped the one thing I felt like doing.

I cried.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Salizar

I followed Chris to the master bedroom, eyeing the bed. It could definitely hold the three of us, and if not, I would let them sleep while I sat and watched over them, something I loved to do.

“This is the master bathroom,” Chris said, moving inside the room. “You can shower first and then I’ll take mine.”

“You think Benji is okay?” I asked, ignoring my need to shower. I’d wanted to ask as soon as we were far enough away for Benji to overhear us.

“I think he’s exhausted and needs a good bath and some food. Then lots of sleep.”

“He just seemed so…”

“Lifeless?”

I sighed. “Yes, lifeless pretty much explains the way he moved and looked. It was like a switch while we drove. One minute he was snapping at you and then…”

“Then he seemed to be nothing but a shell of himself,” Chris finished for me.

“We should keep an eye on him,” I said, instantly hating that our human wasn’t in my sight.

Chris looked uncertain. “That’s what I struggle with. Will he enjoy being near us all the time or does he need space? I know how you feel, because you’re like me, but I don’t want to make Benji unhappy by forcing our presence on him.”

I hadn’t really thought about it myself. “You’re right that he’s different from us, but maybe we should just ask him? If he can’t voice his own needs at the moment, we’ll just do what feels right.”

“This doesn’t feel right,” Chris said immediately and I sighed in relief.

“No, it doesn’t.”