Page 42 of Forced Bonds

“I’ll grab some clean clothes for all of us. You go and check on him.”

I did as he ordered, and I might’ve used my vampire speed to get to Benji faster. Soft sobs of anguish reached me before I’d even opened the door. It almost caused my legs to give out. My Benji was sad. Crying. All alone. And I had no idea why.

The door slammed open as I flew inside, needing to hold him, to fix whatever made him sad. He blinked red eyes up at me, startled but still so lifeless and quiet. If it hadn’t been for his sobs, I would’ve had no idea he was feeling anything but tired.

I tore my clothes off and joined him in the bath, hugging him into me. The water was cold. He hadn’t even bothered with the temperature. I was beating myself mentally as I turned on the warm water, then kissed his forehead and held him tighter.

Chris came in shortly after, eyeing us with worry. “I placed our clothes on the bed,” he said, getting undressed. “Think there’s enough room for me in there?”

There wasn’t, but we would make it work. Benji was now shivering between us, the water slushing over the sides of the tub, but none of us cared. Benji was hurting and we had no idea why.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” I asked once his shivers had subsided.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, his tone so broken it hurt. “I just feel so empty and out of place.”

“When did it start?” Chris asked, his tone soothing and warm.

“In the car,” Benji whispered. “But it’s not the first time I’ve felt like this.”

“Can you remember what triggered it?” I asked, rubbing his back.

“Chris mentioned his bed and I didn’t know if I was allowed to sleep in it or not,” he admitted after a few beats of silence. “I know we’re all mates and bonded for life, but I still feel… I feel like I don’t belong and I hate that feeling.” He was sobbing again, his cold hands clasped against my biceps, likely just to hold on to something.

“You do belong,” I whispered, kissing his forehead.

“And it’s no longer my bed,” Chris added. “Its ours. And I look forward to sharing it with my mates tonight.”

“You promise?” he whispered.

“Of course,” I assured him. “This threeway bonding thing will take time for all of us to adjust to. I’ve been alone for centuries, I might be selfish and not always take you into account because I’m used to making decisions alone. I doubt our alpha will like that part about me, and we might fight and argue until I learn to take you two into account.”

Chris took over adding his own take to this. “I always felt forced into mating with a woman, having lots of kids and heirs. I never envisioned this for myself and it’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around the change in how I see my future. It used to be with a woman by my side and lots of pups, now all I see is the two of you by my side, smiling and happy. My future is finally my own and you two are the pieces I had no idea I was missing to find happiness.”

“You weren’t happy before?” Benji asked, peering over at Chris.

Chris shook his head. “I haven’t felt happiness until I woke up and realized I was bonded to the two of you. That was the first time I truly felt happy.”

That only made Benji cry even harder, so I held him tighter against me. It was time for full honesty. It seemed our human needed it to truly believe in us. “I’ve felt happy, but never complete,” I began. “When I was first turned, happiness for me was hunting, it fed the predator side of me when I killed humans. It was a weak happiness, fleeting. When I claimed you, my sweetheart, I felt like I finally had a purpose, a way of having unlimited happiness forever.”

We were silent after that, with me stroking Benji’s back and Chris petting his thighs. We both needed to touch our human when he was this broken.

“I don’t remember ever feeling happy,” Benji finally admitted. “I know I was happy as a kid, back when my family was still alive. After that I stopped hoping for it, knowing it could all be taken away anyway. I didn’t dare get close to anyone, lest I lose them all over again. That was actually why I fought you two so hard in the beginning. Caring for something means you can lose them and if you lose them, you lose yourself. I wasn’t ready to face that kind of heartbreak again.”

“You won’t lose us,” I vowed, kissing the top of his head. “Besides, we all die together when the time comes.”

“Are you sure?” Benji asked, blinking wet tears as he gazed at me with hope. “Even when we’re three?”

I nodded. “I know for certain that I’ll follow you into the next life, if one of us dies, we all do, together.”

There was no more talking after that, just comfort and soap. Chris and I washed our human together, then the three of us showered and got dressed. My mates were exhausted and before I could even suggest ordering something for them to eat, they were asleep on the bed.

I smiled fondly at my men and left the bedroom. I needed to talk to Altaur and let him know everything we found. Before when we’d talked, it had all been about us getting back to Keen and out of harm's way. I believed my master felt unnerved by the Greenwren Coven’s interest in the book, and the fact that it also made Yanus nervous. When Altaur couldn’t fix his human’s emotions, he became fearful and protective. It was rather adorable, really. Not that I’d ever dare tell my master that.

“Master,” I greeted once he’d picked up.

“My child, you bring more information this time?”

“I do.”