Page 72 of Sugar & Shadows

Once they were gone, I focused on the tables. After a minute or two of quiet, I realized the only other person left was Stella.

Gut sinking, I let out an exhale.

She carefully stacked chairs, a smile on her pretty face. She was so kind and helpful. An elementary school teacher and super volunteer in town.

She baked cookies and volunteered at the Lawrence family’s annual Chainsaw Day and never missed a town event or committee meeting.

She was a committed, sweet person. But I had an inkling that there was another motivation there as well. By being involved in so many activities, it gave her ample opportunity to see me.

I really didn’t consider myself egotistical or cocky, but it was a fact that Stella had been in love with me since I was in high school and she was in middle school. She’d come to every one of my games back then. She’d always been friendly with my family, she’d worked on my first campaign for mayor, and she was always… around.

And now she was coming my way, a warm smile on her face. She was the exact type of woman I should want. The definition of a small-town girl who loved her community and worked hard, and she was a lovely friend and neighbor.

She was familiar and safe. The person everyone I knew expected me to end up with.

A choice that wouldn’t make waves.

I’d built an entire identity on not making waves, on being agreeable. But I could no longer deny how fucking tired of it all I was.

And I didn’t want Stella. While I’d known it for years, lately, there’d been more urgency to put an end to the crush. Because I wanted someone else.

A woman who was neither available nor interested.

A woman who kept me up at night and challenged me in ways I couldn’t quite comprehend.

And it had hit me recently just how big an asshole I was by allowing Stella to continue to pine over me.

“That was a great meeting,” she said. “Let me know how I can help with all these new initiatives.”

Her blond hair fell to her shoulders. Her winter coat was pink, the same color as her glossy lips. She was bright and warm. And I’d taken advantage of that.

She broke into the sweetest smile. “A bunch of us are headed over to the Drip Line. Wanna walk over? Grab some dinner?”

“Do you have a minute?” I asked, my heart rate ratcheting up.

I was a good guy. The one who showed up. Who rolled up his sleeves and never let anyone down. But I was about to do something that didn’t fit that mold. It was time to cast aside the man I’d been for so long and grow, just like Maplewood was.

I leaned against the folding table and swallowed past the lump lodged in my throat, digging deep for courage.

“Stella.” I sighed. “I’ve been a selfish asshole.”

Her pretty brown eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“You are a wonderful person. And I’m proud to be your friend. But there isn’t going to be anything more than that between us.”

Her cheeks turned pink.

Bile rose in my throat. This was awful.

“I haven’t treated you fairly. Not because you aren’t wonderful and deserving, but because of my own issues around disappointing people. And I’m sorry for that.”

She tilted her head, her brow furrowing in concern.

My stomach churned more violently. Fuck, she was so understanding.

“I struggle to be honest sometimes. When it means I have to let someone down or make an unpopular choice. And that’s on me.”

“Okay.” She drew out the word, patiently waiting for me to spit it out.