Page 29 of Storm

“I don’t know what I want anymore. I thought I did, but the more time I’m with him, the more I think I want to be with him.”

“I get it, darlin’. I do but I don’t want you gettin’ hurt either.”

“I know that, and that’s the last thing I want right now either but I can’t help what I feel.”

“And I wouldn’t want you to. Go talk to him,” he says, nodding toward the hall. I hesitate for a second before he gives me a little shove in that direction. I smile at him before I start heading down the hall. When I get to Storm’s room, I hear him grunting. I’m not sure what he’s doing until I throw the door open and see him punching his punching bag. He glances over briefly before going back to it.

I walk in and close the door behind me before moving to sit on the edge of his bed. He still doesn’t look over at me, and that bothers me. Maybe he’s mad. Maybe he’s upset that my uncle found out what we were doing. Or maybe he’s mad that I really made him leave.

“I’m sorry,” I say out loud, loud enough for him to hear me.

“Don’t be.”

“But I am. I’ve never had anyone, Storm. Of course, I’ve fucked people, but never someone I actually cared about,” I tell him. That gets him to stop. He lowers his hands and turns to face me now.

“What are you sayin’?”

“I’m saying that I’m sorry. That, maybe, you’re right. Maybe there is something more to us.” I shake my head, trying to find the words to say to him.

“Maybe…I don’t fucking know, Storm. I’m happy when I’m around you. I feel safe when I’m with you, and I’m not going to sit here and lie and tell you that I’ve always felt safe on my own because I haven’t. Not in all these years.”

“You know the club wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right?”

“It’s not about the club, Storm! It’s about me! My dad made me feel safe. He was my protector. Not this club, although I know what they’d do for me. This feels…it’s different.”

“So you feel safe with me?” I nod my head but words won’t form. “You shouldn’t, Kenz. I’m a killer.”

I swallow hard as I look up at him as he makes his way over to where I sit on the bed. He stares down at me, his eyes so dark that I can barely tell the color of them.

“I’ve killed. I’m gonna kill more. It’s what I was born to do, Kenz. I don’t think I know any different.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “This is all I can be. I’m a fuckin’ Soulless Bastard. That’s all I’m ever gonna be. I’m not good enough for you, Kenzee.” He steps back, and I stand, stepping into his space.

“You don’t get to decide what’s good for me, Storm.”

“When it comes to us, yeah, I do. We both know you didn’t want this shit. You didn’t want this club or anyone in it,” he tells me. I stare at him, unsure how to respond to that.

“At one point, you’re right. I didn’t want this.”

“But?”

“But you’re different, Storm. And somehow that’s something I do want.”

“I’m no different than any other member of a club, Kenz. I do bad shit, illegal shit. I’m gonna hurt people, and I’m sure I’m gonna hurt you at some point.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you say that? You don’t have to hurt me if you don’t want to, Storm.” He chuckles.

“Baby, it isn’t because I want to. Trust me, that’s the last thing I want to do. It’s just who the fuck we are. It’s what we do. We make messes, Kenz. We fuck up. We do shit we shouldn’t and that somehow backfires on us. This isn’t the life you want.”

“So all this bullshit with you saying that you feel something for me is a lie? Was it all a lie?” I snap at him. He smiles sadly at me before shaking his head and raising his hand to my cheek.

“No, baby. None of that was a lie. But I know who I am, Kenzee. You don’t know who you are.” My mouth falls open as I look up at him. I can’t believe he’s doing this to me. He’s the one who has been going at me all this time, and now that I fucking give in, he backs out?