Page 90 of Coming Clean
“No, but she knows I’m hereand she wished me luck.”
Connor snorted. “I’m sureshe did.”
“He loves you.”
Connor stumbled, apparentlytripping over thin air. “What?”
“Jeremy loves you but he’stoo damn scared to tell you.”
Connor shook his head. Hewas not going to get his hopes up. “What gives you that impression?He hasn’t even spoken to me in two weeks.”
David scowled. “Maybethat’s because you made it clear you don’t want to talk anymore andbecause you sent Sabrina and Irene to clean his house.”
Connor had walked away,leaving Jeremy half naked and vulnerable. David probably knew allthe sordid details. “I’m sorry for that.”
“You should be, but I’m notguessing about this. Jeremy told me he lovesyou.”
“He did?” Connor had toldSabrina so it made sense that Jeremy would tell David, but hehadn’t really thought….
“Yes, but he’d kill me fortelling you.”
Just like Connor would killSabrina for talking to Jeremy. Had she? Had she told David? “Justhow much have you been talking to Sabrina?”
“Enough.” Davidsmirked.
“I thought so.” She betternot call Connor later. She would not like the things he had to sayto her.
“You’ll thank her—and me—ifwe stop you from making a huge mistake.”
Connor shook his head. “Ican’t stop Jeremy from leaving.”
“You’re wrong aboutthat.”
Even if he could plead withJeremy and convince him to stay, it would be wrong. “I shouldn’texpect him to stay for me if that’s not what he reallywants.”
David shook his head. “Whatyou shouldn’t do is let him go without telling him how youfeel.”
“Did you give him the samespeech?”
“A similar one.”
Connor ran a hand over hishair. “No matter how much you and Sabrina want us to get backtogether, I don’t think it’s going to happen.”
“He’d stay if he thoughtthere was a chance with you.”
“Don’t try to use guilt onme. Trust me, Sabrina failed and you will too.”
David stood. “If he doesn’thear from you, he’ll probably accept the offer on the housetomorrow morning. If I were you, I’d spend the rest of the dayconsidering what I really wanted.”
David left without anotherword. Connor stood there for several minutes, considering,agonizing, longing. He poured himself a glass of water and drainedit. By the time he set the glass in the sink he knew exactly whathe had to do.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Connor ended the calledwith Larissa, Sabrina’s therapist friend, and pulled up hiscalendar. He had an appointment with her for the following week. Hewas willing to admit that she might be able to help him. It wastime to try something other than stumbling along as he had been.He’d have a much better chance of making a relationship work if hecould find a way past the darkness that still hung overhim.
He tried to tell himself hecouldn’t count on anything with Jeremy whether he was in therapy ornot, but he refused to dwell on that depressing thought. He had tokeep moving forward. Not talking to Jeremy for weeks had madeConnor ache to touch him, or even just see his smile. Connor prayedDavid was right and Jeremy still wanted him.
Calling Larissa hadn’t beeneasy, and showing up for the appointment would be even more of achallenge, but he was going to do it. He wasn’t running from hisissues anymore. If he could survive the desert, surely he couldface Mario too, no matter how pissed Mario would be to learn Connorwas gay. Yes, he wanted to rescue his friend. Yes, he’d idolizedthe man, learned from him, emulated him. But Mario was just a man,with both good characteristics and bad. He had no right to tellConnor to hide who he was.
