Page 69 of Forever My Lass

The moment Madeline’s cheeks flushed with pink, he’d grinned at her. She’d immediately shaken her head in amused disgust, then turned her attention to putting the girls to bed. With the three of them, fully clothed, tucked in beneath the sheets and several blankets, Bridget and Eileen had left Iain sitting at the fire to stand guard.

The girls had fallen asleep almost as soon as they were tucked beneath the sheets. But Madeline had remained awake much longer. The two of them hadn’t spoken, they’d simply been content to look at each other. The love in her soft brown eyes had warmed his heart almost as fast as the fire. Before long, Madeline’s eyelids had drooped, until with one last sleepy smile, her eyes had drifted shut.

Iain had maintained his vigil for almost an hour before exhaustion had him on the verge of falling asleep in his chair. Gathering several of blankets off a nearby chair, he’d lain down on top of the coverlet next to Ainslie and fallen asleep.

Now as he studied the three most important women in his life, Ainslie moved beneath the covers as a soft moan blew past his daughter’s lips. Gently stroking her brow, Iain murmured words of quiet comfort until she fell quiet once more.

He didn’t move for a moment, because every time he did so, his entire body ached as if he’d been throwing cabers one after the other for hours. His chest was the most painful. It hurt like hell from where Angus had pounded life back into him. The four of them had returned to the house together, when Madeline’s response to his third demand that she and the twins return to the manor reinforced her previous two refusals.

Iain’s gaze settled on Madeline’s face again, and his heart tightened in his chest. Today’s near tragedy rested on his shoulders. First with Ainslie and her belief that he didn’t love her, then Madeline believing the same thing. If he’d not been so stubborn about admitting how much he loved her, she would not have been so eager to leave Muchalls Hall, and Ainslie would not have run away. He’d almost lost both of them.

The thought chilled him.

The logs burning in the fireplace popped and sizzled as the flames ate away at the thick chunks of wood. A second later, the blaze made a log suddenly shift position, and Iain lifted his head when it fell with a thud onto the hearth. It had been several hours since Angus had brought Iain back from the dead.

Careful not to make the mattress shift position as he climbed out of bed, he bent over Ainslie to pull the covers up to her neck, then reached across her do the same for Grace. Unlike the twins, Madeline had the blanket pulled up over her ears, and he smiled as he realized she might steal his covers in the middle of the night. He would have to hold her close every night if he wasn’t to freeze to death in bed. His smile broadened at the thought.

Wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, Iain returned to his chair by the fire, then settled his gaze on Madeline sleeping so sweetly in his bed. The idea of holding her close as he fell asleep every night and waking to the sight of her beautiful smile was a happy one. The rest of his life would be spent proving his love for her. It was an emotion that ran deep within his soul.

Staring into the fire, he frowned slightly as he contemplated their future. Would she fight him on not having children? The idea of losing her in childbirth made him close his eyes with a terror he knew could easily drive a wedge between them. Although he’d overcome his fear of water to save her and Ainslie, the idea of watching Madeline grow heavy with child filled him with dread.

He could fight the sea, but he was powerless if something went wrong during childbirth. Watching Flora die without having the ability to save her had been difficult enough. The thought of something similar happening to Madeline was unthinkable.

“Faither?”

The soft, tentative word broke through his thoughts, and Iain turned his head to see Ainslie standing a few feet away. The moment their gazes met, guilt and shame swept over the girl’s face, and she immediately bowed her head.

“Come here, Ainslie,” he whispered, stretching out his hand to her, but his youngest remained rooted where she stood. “It’s all right, my brave, bonnie lass.”

At his quiet reassurance, Ainslie lifted her head. Eyes wide in her face, she stared at Iain, and he flicked his fingers to encourage her to come to him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she ran forward to wrap her arms around his neck.

“I am so sorry, Faither. I dinnae mean tae break my oath tae ye. I am so sorry.”

Her words were almost incoherent through her quiet sobs, and Iain pulled her tight against his chest. Closing his eyes, he remembered the fear he’d experienced in the sea cave as he’d seen her on the rock ledge with the whirlpool between them. That same fear had returned as he’d tied his youngest daughter to Madeline. It had been the brutal realization that he might not save her. But he had. He’d saved them both. A tangible sensation of relief pummeled its way through him at the sobs whispering out of her. It had been terrifying to drown, but he would willingly do it again a thousand times over if it meant keeping her, Grace, and Madeline safe from harm.

Pulling the girl down into his lap, he closed his blanket around the two of them and remained silent as she wet his shirt with her tears. She cried for a long time, and when her sobs eased, he tightened his embrace as she lifted her head to look at him.

“Do ye ken how proud I am of ye, my bonnie lass.”

“I dinnae ken how. Ye drowned because of me.” The words were a mere whisper of a sound, and Iain squeezed her tighter.

“Aye, but Angus brought me back.”

The only response he received was the sound of her sniffles, and a vise wrapped itself tightly around his chest at the memory of how close he’d come to losing her. Silence filled the room again, and Iain tried to think how best to frame his words so that his youngest understood how much he loved her.

“Ainslie, I want ye tae know I love ye very much. It’s why I followed ye into the sea cave.”

“Were ye nae afraid.”

“Aye, I was terrified,” he replied as a wry smile touched his lips before he grew sober. “But I ken ye were in danger, and that’s all I could think about.”

“But Madeline came for me.”

“Aye, but even if I had ken for certain Madeline was trying tae reach ye, I would still have come for ye, mo nighean luachmhor.” Ainslie’s eyes widened as he said the words, my precious daughter, in Gaelic. “Because I love ye even more than Madeline does. When ye were born, I vowed I would give my life tae keep ye and Grace safe, that’s how much I love ye.”

Tears made Ainslie’s eyes glisten as she stared up at him in disbelief. Her expression made him wince as he brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead.

“Ainslie, I need to know why ye think I dinnae love ye. Is it because I am stern with ye, lass?”