Page 8 of Angels Don’t Date

The Scholar stood, hands clenched as he stared down at the Vampire King. To his credit he didn’t bother rising, managing to look bored even though he was doubtless considering fifty ways to try to kill the Scholar. The last time they’d had an argument, there hadn’t been anything left standing for miles. If they went at it now, in the Laboratory beneath the Library of Antiquities, Singsong City could entirely collapse.

I spoke quickly. “Strong doesn’t mean dead. There are many perfectly strong live people.” I raised my chin. “Like my guardian. And all the other people who aren’t dead. I don’t want to live in the shadows of the underworld. I want to live in the sun with my kittens!” Maybe I shouldn’t have added the last part, particularly the kittens, particularly not with the way the Scholar was looking at me, a deep frown between his brows.

“You should get more sun,” he said. “You are too pale.”

“Peculiar to have a sun-born daughter,” the Vampire King said, tilting his head to study me like I was a great curiosity.

I smiled at him brightly. “Peculiar to have a father show up after fifty years of negligence, but here we are.”

He hesitated for a moment and then laughed and settled back, relaxing the tension he’d been holding as he considered whether or not to start a war with the Scholar. “Touché. At any rate, it will be good to have you settled with an appropriate mate.” He stood and gave the Scholar an incline of his head. “I give you my leave. Herald will see to the particulars. Daughter.” He gave me an even less visible chin dip and then disappeared in a swirl of black fog smelling of blood, misery, and butterscotch.

I sniffed with a wrinkled nose until the Scholar waved a hand and the smoke cleared.

“This is a ridiculous notion,” he said to me.

Herald laughed, so charming, so smooth, so used to seeing people decapitated and not letting it get to him. “Perhaps it’s not entirely conventional, but young Katriana has proven her interest in leaving your care and embracing the big, beautiful world on her own. This way she’ll have some oversight as she encounters the most dangerous adventures.”

“Dangerous? It’s a wedding competition. How dangerous can it be?” I asked.

“Love is the most dangerous thing of all,” the Scholar said shortly. “I admit, with the social media issue, Katriana can’t go back into obscurity. Controlling the rhetoric is the most essential thing now. And if the Vampire King wishes to be involved in your life, it’s best if you have several safeguards in place.”

“Indeed,” Herald agreed with a sharp smile. “As many safeguards as possible. She looks like his sister. He’d very nearly forgotten that he had a sister, but seeing your duet brought it all back. Feelings for a vampire like him are the most dangerous things of all.” Herald stood. “I’m to take care of the details, such as scouting a location, and arranging caterers, and bodyguards and⁠—”

“Absolutely not,” the Scholar cut in. “I will see to the location and her safety. Katriana is my ward. Her protection is my duty.”

I said, “Can it be a castle? There are several mansion-type castles around Singsong, right? Particularly in the west, past the suburbs and Forest Park. Maybe with a little cottage for me to stay in with a good set of protection runes all around. I’m very good at protection runes,” I reminded my guardian.

He blinked at me and then gave me a slight smile. “Of course. You are not remotely defenseless, however, between the Vampire King and his enemies, we can’t be too cautious as far as your safety is concerned.”

I nodded because, honestly, this was starting to sound like a dream come true and if he wanted to keep me safe, that was fine with me. Handsome suitors of my choosing? A cottage? “I’ll need an entire wardrobe of princess dresses! And there must be a cake baking competition.”

The Scholar’s lips twitched. “I believe you already mentioned the cake competition. You may have more applicants from the infernal side than the heavenly. You are a vampire, even if you were sun-born. Perhaps in the name of fairness, you should choose an equal number from both sides, unless you feel that vampires and werewolves are somehow less worthy.”

I laughed and patted his shoulder, determined not to hurt his feelings. “No, no, I’m just always surrounded by them. Of course I can choose suitors who are more varied. I don’t actually want any angels. Can you imagine? They ruin everything.”

He raised a brow. Right. Libby was very angelic. “Everything?”

“Weddings. I’m specifically referring to that annoying Lion who interrupted your wedding.”

He gave me a thoughtful look. “Richard the Lion will be invited as one of the suitors.”

I gurgled a laugh. “No, no, no. I was only joking about inviting him. He’s far too arrogant and self-absorbed and vain, and terrifying to be an actual suitor.”

“You mentioned him and your father backed down. Also, the Lion had an excuse to kill you when you attacked him, and didn’t take it, so he’s likely to be a safe choice.”

I felt like someone had sat on my chest and was squishing my heart out my ears. “He has millions of followers. He’d never agree to be a suitor on some TV show. He’d laugh at the very idea of marrying a vampire.”

He gave me a slight smile. “And yet we are issuing him an invitation along with anyone else with the position and following to protect you against the evils in the world. You will choose the finalists, Katriana, but you yourself mentioned the lion. It is done.”

I crinkled up my face, held my breath and then released and shrugged. “He’ll say no. It’ll be an embarrassing rejection, but I won’t need to know about it. I’ll just post pictures of my kittens. I’ll go make a long list of all the possibilities. On both sides of the spectrum,” I added quickly, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It wasn’t his fault he was a dragon/vampire. And he was always in control of his instincts.

“One thing.” The scholar gestured and the door opened. Mitt, the werewolf was standing outside, looking like he was about to sneeze. “Mitt and Mini will walk you to your room. If you need to leave your room, they will escort you wherever you need to go.”

Mini flashed a grin at me from the shadows where she stood behind Mitt.

“Oh. I…” I looked at Herald who was watching this entire play with a studied indifference that meant he was devouring every word, every look, every hint of feeling. “Perfect! I’ll never be lonely. Herald.” I curtsied to him and then went with Mini and Mitt towards my room.

“I’m not a bodyguard,” Mitt growled as soon as the door closed.