Page 9 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

The thought seems foolish. I shake my head. How would I even know what’s “off” for him? I’ve not known him for longer than a handful of months.

And yet it feels like years have passed.

He’s only returned to the palace a few nights, and each time he looked more defeated than the last. Mud and dark liquid stained his boots, which he told me was from training and hunting beasts. But he had the saddest eyes, and I can’t help thinking about them during the long days without him.

“Alira?” Tessa interrupts my thoughts. I glance over at her, dressed in her royal military uniform. While Devicit’s knight’s armor is a lovely beige that reminds me of stag horns, their royal guard uniforms are a navy blue. The collars are lined in gold thread and their left shoulders clad in metal plates with half a cloak draped on the same side. She’s intimidating and looks like a force to be reckoned with. I envy that she doesn’t have to be in these fancy dresses every day as I do.

“Oh, my apologies. I’m just thinking about Kalel. He seems tense since he was called to the palace… More tense than when we were traveling after the marriage treaty.” This seems utterly impossible, and yet here we are. I never thought he’d be closed off again like he was when we first met. Not after all our soft, tender feedings and lovemaking. Especially not after he let me into his world and showed me all his sentimental belongings, like the apothecary room he treasures so much.

There’s a void growing deep in my bones, a warning.

Tessa’s brows lift and she chuckles. “Define tense. The commander is always troubled with something.” She nods toward the expansive fields that lead to the only entrance through the veil. “Don’t forget, we are warding off dragons and other creatures like the wolves out there. He’s probably just pissed that this new line of apprentices isn’t learning as fast as the prior class did.”

I nod thoughtfully. Tessa sounds nonchalant about it, and I suppose his job is high stress. But there’s a flicker of emotion in her eyes as she stares out toward the southern gates. As far as I know, there’s only one way to get in and out of the veil. Coming from a strategic standpoint, it’s not the smartest tactic for keeping your kingdom safe. What if the veil fails and some intruders slip through and block the one way in? What if everyone needs to evacuate the city? It’s not wise to only have a single entrance for any kingdom, even badgers know that; it’s why they make a second exit.

Is there something out there that they aren’t telling their people about? The civilians seem to be living life as normal, from what I’ve observed. If there’s any reason to keep my sanity and not panic, it’s that. Although King Achill doesn’t seem like the type of ruler who would tell his people anything up until the last hour. When it’s too late for anyone to escape.

“If there are issues with the dragons, you know I can help. You saw how they reacted to me that first day here. With a little training, I know I can get better at communicating with them. It would keep the majority of the knights out of harm’s way and⁠—”

“No, the king would never allow it,” she says sharply, her ruby eyes flashing before she remembers herself and takes a deep breath. The golden scales that line her hair bristle for a moment before lying back down against her skin.

It’s fear in her eyes, not anger.

I hold her gaze for a few seconds before slowly looking away back to the garden. I’m not sure what to say, so I settle on saying nothing.

It isn’t as if I thought she would trust me so quickly, or at all, for that matter, but I was hoping she would have warmed up to me a bit more by now. Especially in a moment like this, when we are one on one and no one is lurking or listening. The fact that she’s still so short only makes me more concerned that something truly is the matter. And it isn’t the dragons—the veil keeps them at bay—this is something worse, I can feel it. So why lie?

Nikolai is a healer, and if they’ve pulled him from my guard, then many knights must be hurt. I picture familiar knights I’ve grown to recognize bleeding out in the snow and Nikolai running himself ragged trying to heal them all.

More horrific scenes play out in my mind for the rest of the afternoon and keep me plenty occupied during this otherwise uneventful day.

Today, the same mundane routine I’m starting to get used to drags out the hours. I have lunch alone, since Tessa stands guard at the far corner of the room. Then it’s a walk around the palace, admiring the same paintings and architecture I look at every day, small chitchat with the staff, and an afternoon lesson on demon etiquette.

In this afternoon’s lesson, I learned that every species of demon has an anti-form of a demigod. When a new demigod is born, Pluto creates an equal counter in Mortem. It’s the same vice versa. When I ask how the demons even escaped Mortem in the first place, I’m given a very strict pat on the head and told it’s rude to ask.

“I was just curious. It’s fascinating to know that demigods and demons each have an opposite out there,” I say sweetly, trying to fix my mistake ungracefully.

My instructor, Jin, sighs and nods. She has dark-blue matte horns on each side of her head that curl back like a mountain goat’s and soft pink eyes that are always so calm, even when her sharp tongue isn’t. She dresses like many of the humans who work in libraries: big ruffles of cream cloth for the sleeves and floor-length plain skirts. “I know. You have much to learn. It’s not as if you are trying to be rude.” She makes it sound like I’m utterly insufferable to teach. I puff out my cheeks and glower.

It’s not like she would learn the demigod customs so easily either. I don’t dwell on it long. I rather enjoy Mrs. Jin’s company and teachings. Her class is one of the only highlights of my days anymore.

After Jin’s class, I have tea with the royal ladies who visit me to chat about their respective palaces and high-standing husbands. They come by for an hour each day thanks to Kalel’s advisor, Hammond. He thinks it’s best if I learn and adopt their way of life. Hammond caught me sneaking down to the kitchen for a late-night snack in the first month and was appalled enough to make these arrangements.

As much as I hate to admit it, he’s not wrong. I’ve already learned so much about the customs of my new kingdom and their way of life through them. Like a few hidden shops and wine sellers that aren’t easily found.

The ladies are fun to listen to, though. They frequently share drama and secrets, much like the demigods do. Secrets are a form of currency, and there’s nothing like a little blackmail of someone’s dark secret to keep them in your pocket. It’s a passage of trust to some. Tell me your sins and I’ll tell you mine.

Lady Gretchen slips up while she jabbers on about what her husband has been up to in the king’s cellars. Apparently, King Achill has him cleaning out an old storage room as punishment for speaking up during a recent meeting. A duke cleaning a storage room is the nail in Gretchen’s coffin, one would think, by the way she pouts. But the curious part is that her husband found a passage through the king’s palace that leads out of Devicit in the cellar. He told her that it’s the only other exit in the veil.

My eyes widen at that bit of information. There’s another exit?

She’s quickly shushed, and I pretend not to notice that she even said it. But I store the information in my mind in case I need it someday. Do the others know about it? They don’t seem very surprised.

I take supper alone as usual, with the exception of a few maids. Nina, my favorite maid, is among them and she makes an effort to at least talk for a few minutes before having to return to her duties.

Occasionally, Nikolai sits and eats with me, but tonight it’s just Tessa and me. We’ve not spoken since the awkward conversation in the garden this morning. I’ve been paying attention to the way her eyes keep skirting toward the windows, as if she’s waiting for someone to leap inside and attack us.

My jaw tightens as I decide to confront Kalel about what’s going on beyond the veil when he returns. I won’t be kept locked away in his palace to be ignorant of what’s happening any longer. It’s no better than the time loops. It’s no better than being a caged bird.