Page 10 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

He promised I wouldn’t be his prisoner.

A soft sigh escapes my lips as I walk across the long corridor leading to my chambers. The cool evening air spills around my ankles from the gray arched stone windows that open to the gardens below. Beautiful green birds often peck at the grains of sand that wedge between the stone slab floors before returning to their nests in the trees at the edge of Kalel’s palace grounds. For some reason, they only stay near the trees. I don’t see them ever hopping around in the flowers or looking for insects there like most birds did in Alzhor.

I make a note to add that to my journal to ask in class with Jin. There’s so much to remember that if I don’t write it down, I’ll forget.

The moon is already nearing the midpoint in the sky. It’s blurry beyond the shimmer of the veil, but I can still make out where it is up there. The sun set a few hours ago, and Kalel still hasn’t returned.

I look across both hallways at the intersection leading down to the gardens before making my way to the stone steps to the wooden door at the bottom. It’s not like I’m forbidden to explore his palace. I can even leave and walk the streets of the kingdom if I’d like, but only if I’m with a guard. Tonight, I find that I’m in great need of solitude.

Tessa is chatting with another knight a few rooms down from mine, so it’s easy to sneak out. An hour alone is all I need. Then I’ll pop back into my room as if nothing happened.

One final hesitant glance over my shoulder gives me enough reassurance to step onto the gravel pathway that weaves through the garden. It’s so quiet out here at night that I swear I can hear the petals whispering in the slight breeze.

A meek smile pulls at the corners of my lips. It’s rather silly to think of such impossible things. Flowers do not have thoughts. Nor wishes. Nor hope. And yet the energy these ones put into the air is dramatic and all-consuming. Perhaps it’s my gift from my goddess mother, Venus, that allows me to be linked closer to them. But why do these ones seem louder than the rest? There must be something special the veil does; it’s the only explanation.

I think of all the demons that I’ve turned into flowers. Do they leave traces of themselves behind? Do they whisper? I wonder.

I sit at a bench shadowed by a pink willow tree, where I know no one can see me from the palace balconies because I’ve checked a hundred times.

Part of me has feared having a moment completely alone, without even a guard. The gods always seem to find me when I am away from others. My eyes trace the veil once more—the shimmering sparkles that move like waves across the bubble-like form are so beautiful. Surely even the gods cannot pass through such odd, arcane magic. It’s been three months since I last spoke with a god, and I’m glad they can’t seem to reach me here. Their tricks have already done more than enough damage. Mercury sending me that wisp on the journey back and his warning still make goose bumps pebble on my arms.

The demons truly have found something so unique and powerful. I close my eyes and let the cold from the stone bench seep into my fingertips. At least they found a power to use for protection, not as a weapon.

Gravel crunches beneath a heavy boot as someone steps around the hedge and approaches me.

I don’t open my eyes. Instead, I let a loose grin pull at my lips.

I would know the sound of his footsteps even if we were surrounded by a thousand warring knights. He’s standing close enough that his smoky scent blends with mine.

“Alira.” His voice is gentle, curious, probably as to why I’m out here alone.

My eyes meet his, and I find the same weary look I usually do in his gaze. Kalel offers a torn smile. There are smudges of dirt and dark stains on his face and neck, more on his armor.

“What are you doing out here in the cold?” he asks as his gaze shifts toward his garden. His brows knit with thought before he brings his attention back to me.

The floral scent of the peonies dances between us, mingling with the smell of the blood on him. It’s red—not gold. So at least I know that it isn’t the blood of a demigod. Perhaps a bad hunt, or were they swarmed by wolves again? Or do dragons bleed red? I want to ask him so many things, but he has a very particular look on his face right now that tells me I won’t be getting many answers. Not tonight.

“Just taking a minute to myself. Tessa tends to follow me much closer than Nikolai.” I chuckle as I rise and lift my jaw so I can see his face entirely. He’s so tall, even when his shoulders are slack and heavy.

Kalel lifts his hand and brushes his thumb over my cheek, eyes softening as he takes me in. “My apologies, little godling. I needed Nikolai today.”

The corners of my mouth curve down. “It’s been hard adjusting to this new life when you’ve been so absent as of late,” I say slowly. I need to confront him about my restlessness since he’s been preoccupied. “Can I go with you out of the kingdom? I need to get out of these dresses…and out of the palace. I need something familiar. The outside world, even a horse ride outside of the veil. Sparring. Something.”

His golden eyes narrow with sympathy. They look like jewels. Even in the dark, they shimmer so beautifully. My eyes trace the scars shaped like X’s over his left cheek. I cannot look at them without remembering how he looked the night I found him in Florum Forest.

How was I to know that the demon I met as a child would change my entire life one day? Meeting him again in the forest during the time loops was like a sign from the gods. Divine intervention, some might say.

Even if I think he’s hiding something from me, I have secrets of my own too.

I haven’t told him about the time loops that led to all of this… I don’t know if I ever can. It sounds impossible, and it wouldn’t change anything. How would he react if he knew he was the knight who killed me countless times? I can’t do that to him.

Kalel gives me a pitying look that sets my skin on fire. “Alira, you know King Achill isn’t on board with you being armed and accompanying me on tasks.” He takes in my frustrated expression and tightly crossed arms. “Okay, how about this. I’ll speak with the king to see if you can come with me on a trip I’ve been meaning to take, but don’t get your hopes up too high.”

He brushes my silver hair back behind my ear, and his gaze softens, making my chest ache. No one looks at me like he does.

“When?” I ask, leaning my cheek into his palm, desperate for time with him.

“I will speak to him tomorrow at the morning command meeting, but we likely won’t go out together until next week, if he allows it.” He offers me his hand and I take it. “I know this isn’t easy, and it’s certainly different from our time on the road together as we traveled here. But it’s not forever.”