Page 41 of Sweet Thing

“I found therapy really useful. To be honest, it saved my life”, Simeon butted in.

Bastian had no idea Simeon had been in therapy. In the circumstances it made sense, but he didn’t know how he felt about the information. He took a sip from his glass.

“I’m not saying the process is fun or anything, but personally, I needed to go through it. I needed to deal with issues that had been eating me for years. I didn’t trust anyone—not even myself. I hurt so many people I cared for when I was using. My therapist just listened. She helped me work my head out.”

“And are you better?”

Simeon took a steadying breath before he admitted,

“Sweetie, I have an Addictive Personality Disorder.” Simeon surprised himself. He was all kinds of confessional tonight. He worried the moment that he said the words that Bastian might run for the hills, after all, the man had no idea he was trying to get to know an unbalanced person.

“Forgive me, but what does that actually mean?” Bastian ventured curiously. He’d known from the slight atmosphere at the dinner party that there was something more going on with the young French man, as if he was out of the loop on some vital piece of information.

“Typically, I act on impulse and cannot deal with delayed gratification. According to my Doc, I’m very sensitive to emotional stress and have trouble handling frustrating situations. When I feel insecure and stressed, my mind has difficulty coping, so I revert to unhealthy behaviors to blank out difficult feelings. I told you about the booze, but I was also using pills and the internet.”

“The internet?” Bastian bridled with a laugh.

“Really, it’s no laughing matter. Internet addiction is the Cancer of the 21st Century, The Silent Epidemic, my doctor called it.”

Bastian’s brows arched in consideration. Thinking about it, he did know people who were obsessed with their tech, and who had closer relationships with Siri, and online friends, than they had in their real lives.

“So, are you better?” Bastian asked again.

Simeon sighed, and his eyes met the older man’s.

“I will never be 100% cured, but I work every day to be better. As you can imagine, delayed gratification still stresses me out!” Simeon quirked a brow, and his tongue flicked out and licked his top lip suggestively.

What a messed-up pair they were. “I like you, Simeon,” Bastian announced all of a sudden.

Simeon’s cheeks flushed crimson, and his heart hammered in his chest. What the hell was this heat?

Simeon’s phone sprang to life, dancing to a Salsa beat; it was on the floor amongst the detritus from the Space Oddity wall. Simeon jumped up, and the moment was lost.

Bastian shifted on the couch and brought his hands up to rub over his stubbled face. This date was intense.

“Bonjour Papa. Comment allez-vous?“ Simeon moved out of the room and into the hallway to have a little privacy.

Bastian only heard one side of the conversation in French, but he couldn’t deny what it did to his body. His elbows came to rest on his knees as his fingers nested in his hair. He was riddled with conflicting emotions. Bastian knew in his conscious mind that Mattieus was gone forever, but still, he felt like he was cheating on Matti by even having sexual thoughts about Simeon. The only thing Bastian was sure of was that he ached to know Simeon intimately.

Simeon returned to join him on the couch. He was still trembling from the explosive look they’d shared a minute earlier. Maybe this was the right time to broach the difficult subject.

“Can I ask you some personal questions?” Simeon queried.

“Sure,” Bastian replied with a shrug.

“Are you seeing anyone else, apart from me? I don’t want to assume. I don’t know what this is, but I’d kinda like to be your focus.”

“You know I have not dated since Matti. I am… unmanned. What can I offer any lover? I find I am ridiculously grateful even to be talking with you alone tonight”, Bastian admitted, his mouth hitching into a self-depreciating smirk, and a blush rushing to his cheeks. He reached for his glass to hide his embarrassment. “And you?” he added, and then took a sip of grape juice. Simeon was a stunning man and Bastian was sure he was one of many men Sim was toying with.

“Oh, currently I have lots of boyfriends: Sam and Declan, Dex and Sloane, Ty and Zane,” Sim replied with a flirty timbre. He reached for his glass and took a sip, looking up to meet narrowed, confused eyes. Simeon giggled.

“You like… threesomes?” Bastian exclaimed, alarmed.

“I’m not into threesomes,” Simeon guffawed. “They’re my book boyfriends! I read a lot”, he explained teasingly. “I used to have lots of sex, but that stopped when I went into Rehab. Not having Grindr makes a huge difference. But it’s okay. I don’t mind so much—my dick needed a rest! So, no, I’m not seeing anyone—Am I seeing you?” Sim asked, secretly desperate for clarification as to what this was between them.

“I would like to—see you, get to know you”, Bastian admitted his smile warm.

“I’d like that too,” Simeon confirmed. They shared a tender look, and then, almost shyly both men glanced away smiling.