Page 144 of Sands of Atonement

Salazar pulled on my elbow, tilting his head toward the sands, a silent request to talk. I gave Norrah a quick nod and a tight smile before I followed him, not feeling up for an argument.

Salazar looked as defeated as I felt right now, with slumped shoulders, like this wasn’t his plan. Or it was his plan, but he hadn’t calculated how the message would be received.

I didn’t know how to forgive him.

I stared out into the sands away from him, away from the group.

“Eshe, my darling.” Salazar took a step forward. He always called me his darling ever since I could remember. He placed a gentle hand on my right shoulder. “This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out. You left, and I had no choice.”

I dropped my shoulder from his hand, not wanting intimacy but clarity. I knew I was being short, but this was about my brother being accused of murder. “Were you ever going to tell me? Why not tell me at the tavern in Urnaz? Why not just tell me then?”

Salazar took a deep breath. “I didn’t think you’d ever find out. If I acted as if I had gone there, you’d still know him as Qahl Paziel. I was going to make up some plan to tell you something that made you not want to go there and waste your time. When I found out you were no longer in Urnaz, I set out for Zyriah to find you. I wasn’t sure if you had somehow found out, and went to see him. I knew you would go kill him for what he did.”

“How do you know that?”

Salazar’s eyes dipped to my hands, which were clenched in a fist again. He was right. If he had told me, I would have gone straight to Kavid and killed his murderous ass.

“You have always had a powerful heart, Eshe. I know this about you. I taught you everything I knew, and you excelled in everything. I knew that it would be dangerous for you if you found out the truth.”

“Why did he try to kill me?” I glared at him.

Salazar took another deep, shaky breath. I frowned. He looked almost white and sick, despite his tan skin. “He wanted you dead because of what is in your blood.”

I swallowed the sandy sensation at the back of my throat. “What do you mean?”

“Eshe, you are not your father’s daughter.”

The winds picked up, whistling in my ears, but I couldn’t hear any of it.

I stared at Salazar as my heart thudded against my ribcage.

“W—what? What are you saying?”

Salazar grabbed my fisted hands, the warmth seeping into mine. I nearly fell apart, and I didn’t even know why yet.

My chin wobbled for the first time in years.

He looked into my eyes, and that was when I recognized his face, as if it were my own.

The world slipped beneath me, and I couldn’t breathe.

“You’re my daughter, Eshe. Kavid found out when he saw me talking to your mother the day before he tried to kill you.”

I reached for my chest, begging for air to enter my lungs. I pulled his arms away from me. Shaking my head, “No, no, no.”

“I shouldn’t have been talking to her. She has always been my weakness—I know that now.” He shook his head. “No, I knew that then as well. But when Kavid overheard our conversation, I tried to talk to him. I never thought he would do what he did. I watched him grow. He was a bright kid, not one fighting bone in his body. I thought I could see that in people, you know? After she gave birth to Yonam and Kavid, we fell in love, Eshe—your mother and I. I think we had been in love for years before that. We just never did anything about it. The Qahl focused on everything but her after she gave birth to his sons.”

I blinked the burning sting in my eyes and listened to every word Salazar gave me. He was my father. I saw the curve in the corners of his eyes, just like mine. I saw the fullness of his lips, just like mine.

My chest threatened to collapse.

My mother… she had fallen in love with Salazar. Oh my God. This was too much. I wasn’t my father’s daughter and she…

“Your father never knew, of course. He loved you as his own because he had never known it to be otherwise. The only people who knew were your mother and me. Until Kavid.”

“But why? Why would he kill our entire family?”

Salazar looked at his hands and shook his head again. “I’m not sure, my darling. I’m not sure.”