Page 59 of Rush

No, I didn’t, but I wasn’t in the mood for their shit either. Pocketing my phone, I help lock down the garage and hit the lights. When I get to my door, I check my phone one more time to see where Sam is at. This time she’s on the couch again, a paperback in her hands. I let myself in and relock the doors. At the top of the stairs, I can watch her easier.

Sam’s eyes peek up at me when I enter, and I lock that door too. “I can’t stay here forever, Kane. Besides the obvious of our daughter needing us, I have hockey and classes to attend. To keep my scholarship, I need to maintain a higher GPA.”

Laughing, I let my eyes roam heatedly over her body. She was still wearing one of my shirts and now a pair of my basketball shorts as well. “We’re calling Dylan tonight and she’ll be home tomorrow. I let your coach know you weren’t feeling the best. As far as your classes, the girls are taking notes for you and fuck worrying about your scholarship. I have your tuition paid up until the start of next year. You don’t need to worry about it.”

She exhales and her eyes meet mine. “I almost forgot. Do Riley, Emma and Isla know what's going on?”

I hesitate for a split second and she sees it. “They know you’re here. I think Isla knows more, but she also owes me some grace after the Chicago incident where you both put your safety in jeopardy.”

“When will you let me go?”

My hands reach for her face, cradling her cheeks in my palms. “Never, Sammy. You’re mine.”

“Jameson.” Her voice cracks slightly. I shake my head and press my lips to her forehead.

“Let’s eat, Sam. I’m starving and we have a call with our girl coming up. I miss her and I’m sure you do too.” My hands land on her shoulders, steering her toward the kitchen.

We work together pulling out ingredients for fajitas. I chop the veggies while she seasons and cooks the steak and shrimp. Once all the fixings are ready, we sit at the table and eat.

“What was your plan for how this was going to end, for real? You said you were never going to tell me,” she asks, her eyes peering at me over the rim of her glass.

“Yeah, I was never going to say anything. All I was doing was making your dreams come true and making life easier for you and our little girl. I wanted you to be happy and safe. Providing a vehicle that drove well on icy roads, making sure your apartment was close to campus and secure, making sure you never had to worry about paying for the degree you wanted were all things I could do. I wanted to do them, Sam, because I love you. And I’m going to keep doing all of those things.”

“Are you going to ask if I want those things anymore? I made those goals when I was eighteen, before our lives changed and put certain things into perspective. Does that matter to you at all?” Her little nostrils flare with her attitude, and she stops eating, setting her food down.

I take a deep breath and really think through my next words carefully. “It does matter, Sam. Every single thing you do or say matters. You want to change colleges? I’ll still pay. You want to trade up vehicles, let me know and I’ll get the next one. You don’t want the PWHL or to manage a team someday, okay. Let’s find what else you like and I’ll be there cheering you on. You want another baby? I know marriage was on your list first and we did things out of order, but I’ll make it right anyway I can.”

“You aren’t taking this seriously.” She huffs and downs another drink of her margarita. I laugh and she narrows her eyes at me.

“I’m taking it deathly serious, Sam. I just want you to take everything I’m offering you. Let me keep you safe. Let me give you what you want and need.”

Sam picks up her fajita and starts eating again, ignoring my last comment and desperate plea. I know she needs time. I’ve waited for her before and I will again. After dinner, Johnny calls on FaceTime and we talk to Dylan. I watch my girls as they chat, both of them smiling at the other with almost identical faces. My heart swells with love for both of them. My family. After Dylan promises to let Uncle Johnny brush her teeth well tonight, we hang up. The room feels emptier without her little personality at home. The silence is almost deafening.

“I will never be able to stay mad at you or hate you for the night she was conceived. She’s the best thing in the world,” Sam finally says, her voice quiet but strong as she turns to face me.

“She’s an extension of you. She’s perfect and has held my heart in her tiny hands since she was born. Just like you did when we were nine. What I feel for you is more than love, Sam. I need to see you, feel you, breathe you in order to live.”

Her eyes fall and then she stands from the couch. I’m at a loss tonight on what else to say to show my love for her. My eyes double blink when her hand is suddenly shoved in my face. “I’m tired. We both need to get a good night’s sleep.”

Wordlessly, I take her hand. We turn off the lights in the living area and walk to the bedroom. She changes into her pajamas, although I’d rather see her always sleeping in one of my shirts. I change too, and get ready for bed next. When I’m done, I slide in next to her. Once again, she doesn’t fight against my hold. Tonight, she sinks into it and we fall asleep. Once in the night, I wake, finding her chest on top of mine, her body star-fished in all directions. Suppressing a laugh, I wrap my arm over her back and side, keeping her right where she belongs.

sam

. . .

My eyes crack open, a sliver of morning light poking through the bottom of the curtains, and my body stretches. The first thing I notice is that I’m alone. My hands run over cold sheets, and I realize it's been this way for a while. Sitting up, the blankets pool at my waist, and I reach for my phone. Ten in the morning! I never sleep in this late. The last time I slept this long was when I was sick. It dawns on me next that I am, in fact, holding my phone, which means Jameson gave it back to me before he left this morning. Right then a text pops through.

KANE: You needed the sleep. Your mind and body were exhausted.

KANE: Make sure to check in with your girls. I didn’t touch any of their texts.

KANE: Also, you look beautiful this morning.

My gaze snaps around the room, looking for the camera or cameras. I wasn’t aware he had his room bugged as well. My heart races, and soon, I realize it's for an entirely different reason. It's not because he can just see but that he’s watching.

I’m starting to fear that I’m just as gone for him, obsessed and head over heels. I should be mad he derailed my last two days, keeping me locked here, but a small part of my brain kept whispering that I needed the break. I was even having crazier thoughts, wondering if I had overreacted to what I had found out. Jameson had made a point; he never hurt me. He never lied. He never held me back. He has given me everything he thought I wanted. And he had been right. That list was made when I was eighteen, but everything on it is just as true then as it is now. Yet, I got mad at him for it last night. My mind is everywhere, and while I’m not sure if I can trust him and I feel like he lied to me, I always come back to what he said. He never intended for me to find out. And if I hadn’t found out, I would have gone on with my life, oblivious and happy. Jameson makes me happy. He also makes me feel loved and cherished. He has made my life a dream come true. Why am I mad about that?

My fingers type on the keyboard before I can stop myself and I grin, imagining his response. I hope you’re watching now, Kane. Slowly, I get out of bed, swaying my hips toward the middle of the room. I’m not exactly sure where he’s watching from, but I’m determined at this point. Slowly, my fingers slip inside the waistband of my pajama pants and I slip them down over my thighs. The material falls to the floor and I step over it, twirling my ass around the room. I reach for the hem of my pajama shirt next, and slowly, inch by inch, bring it up over my belly, my breasts, then my head. Holding the material between my two fingers, I let it drop to the floor. My hand reaches for my hair, and I slide the hair tie out, letting my long blonde tresses fall around me. I grin, hoping Kane is enjoying this little striptease that he can only watch. Tits in the air, I make sure to sway my way to the bathroom. Right inside the door, I start to shimmy my panties down before stepping all the way inside. As a last thought, I toss the little scrap of material out the door before closing it. I can hear my phone vibrating on the nightstand and I giggle throughout my entire shower.