Page 15 of Rush

“So Emma, I saw Hawke carry you away. What is happening there?”

Emma’s eyes flare, and she blushes. She throws a piece of popcorn at Riley who just laughs. Isla looks uncomfortable for a second until Emma squeezes her hand. Isla provided Hawke the information he needed in order to break up Emma and her now ex-boyfriend. Even though it's working out for Emma, and she’s better off without him, Isla wasn’t sure it was helping or hurting her at first. Personally, I’m glad Emma found out about Jax. Emma fills us in on what has been happening, and we dissect everything. Before I’m ready, everyone’s eyes slide to me and now it's my turn.

My face turns red and I cover my cheeks with my palms. “What do you want to know?”

“Ahh, all of it,” Emma snickers.

Riley’s watching me with glee in her eyes, her finger tapping her chin thoughtfully. “He really packed up his life in Crimson Bay to be here permanently?”

“Wasn’t he at our game this week?” Isla asks, her eyes widening.

My heart races in my chest thinking about everything that has happened in such a short time. I haven’t really processed it. “He really did move here. I don’t know if you remember Johnny, his brother, but apparently, they’ve been working on a business plan for the past couple of years. They finally decided their business was stable enough to open a second location. Mr. Kane supported it. Johnny is helping between the two places until Jameson hires on more workers.”

All three of my friends are hanging on my every word, their eyes wide while they eat their snacks. My hand shakes lightly when I reach for my drink, taking a sip before continuing on. I need all the extra courage I can get.

“Every day this week I either heard from him or saw him. This is the most consistent I’ve been around him since Dylan was born. He asked if he could bring her to the game and he did. He even showed up early to take her with him to feed her before the game. He bought her a jersey to wear. At first I was embarrassed, wondering if he would see that I’ve kept our number from high school on my jersey, but he never mentioned it. So I let it go. I was just happy seeing her there. I forgot how much I liked him being at my games too.” I say the last part as more of a whisper. Tears fill my eyes and I quickly take another drink. I can’t look at the girls or I know I’ll chicken out.

“He asked if we could get dinner last night before our drop off. We actually ate a whole meal. The three of us, like a little family. I never thought I’d have that.”

“Oh, Sammy,” Riley says, her hand reaching for mine.

Emma’s watching me, her eyes soft but knowing at the same time. “Sam, what happened back then? Because that boy was crazy about you. It never made sense that he would break up with you just because you got pregnant.”

My breath shudders in my chest, and I raise my eyes. “He didn’t break up with me. I ended things with him.”

“What? You never told us this. Why?” Riley asks, her hand squeezing mine. They all move closer to the couch I’m on, seeming to understand how much I need their strength surrounding me.

“I didn’t give him a choice. Once I knew I was pregnant, it was never an option for me not to have Dylan. I told Jameson what I decided to do and I felt so guilty for not giving him a say. Instead, I just changed our lives and didn’t once look back. I wanted him to have an out, a choice to be part of her life, but he didn’t have to be with me.” I shrug, even though the weight of those moments rests heavily on me still. “You guys know I almost went to Minnesota. Jameson was accepted too. He had plans. We had plans, and I changed those plans.”

“I hate to point it out, but Jameson is also responsible for your pregnancy. You both chose to have sex,” Emma says gently, her eyes filled with fierce understanding.

“But Jameson never went to Minnesota,” Riley says quietly, and her words make my heart squeeze painfully.

“He stayed in Crimson Bay. Worked at his dad’s shop and drove every weekend to my aunt’s to spend time with Dylan.” I finish the thought they’re all thinking. The truth that kills me a little every time I see him. I broke us and it didn’t matter in the end because his life plan changed too. “He put Dylan first. Jameson is a good dad.”

All three girls fall silent, watching me carefully. Isla looks unsure while Riley is contemplative. Emma looks a little pale.

“What?” I ask her, nudging her arm. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

Emma shakes her head. “I’ve just been so hard on him. I thought he chose to leave you like Hawke left me. But Sam, I don’t know. I think if he’s here, maybe it means things aren’t as broken as you think.”

Riley bites her lip, her eyes moving between us. “Has he moved on? Has Jameson dated anyone in the two years you’ve been separated?”

I hate the flare of jealousy that hits my chest. I’ve never asked. I’ve never wanted to know. I even stopped talking to Braysen and Luca because I was scared they’d mention it. If I’m honest, I also quit talking to them in case they thought I was just the bitch who broke their best friend’s heart. “I don’t know. But, I did see a woman hug him outside the shop two weeks ago.”

“What? When did you go home?” Riley asks.

My head falls into my hands and I groan from the memory. “I–it was stupid. I forgot to pack something for Dylan and felt bad making him drive to get it or meeting me halfway. In hindsight, she didn’t even need it. I was going to drop it off at his dad’s and drove past the auto shop. He was helping this woman out of her car and she hugged him. She was really pretty.”

“She hugged him or he hugged her?” Emma questions, before taking a bite of her carrot stick.

“I don’t know. It looked like she initiated it, but he wrapped his arm across her back.” I shrug and feel my cheeks heat. “He’s never said he’s seeing anyone, but I haven’t asked either. His time is his time. I don’t really have a say.”

“Ah, I mean I could find out,” Isla says quietly, her cheeks pinkening.

My hand reaches for hers and I squeeze gently. “Thanks, but I think I’d rather not know.” I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to stomach it if he has moved on. My actions lately fully reflect this notion. “Anyway, that's the real reason why I said yes to the date with Mac.”

“Now that makes sense.” Riley laughs a little. “I’ve never seen someone look so awkward on a first date.”