Page 114 of How We Began

“Oh, okay. I can leave it. No biggie.”

“Stop reading into things.”

No denying the fact I was reading into things. I wanted to know why didn’t he want me to move stuff in.? I didn’t want to be needy and desperate but, well, I am.

“It’s fine, I will just leave my stuff next door.”

It is not fine. Next door seems like a million miles away. I could trek to Antarctica and it would be closer.

With a strangled groan he marched out of the door wrapped only in his towel. A loud bang rattled our connecting wall. “What do you want to pack, Lilah? Come on! We haven't got all bloody day.”

For some reason I thought us merging all our stuff together would be a bit more romantic than that.

So I skipped through the door to pack my underwear, toothbrush, hairdryer, and my packet of pills, to then just stop in my tracks. My packet of pills. How on earth had I forgotten this? Trying to be discreet, I turned the packet over to check exactly how many days I’d missed.

Four…

Four days…

“What are you looking at, Lilah? Come on. We are going to be la…” He’d pulled on sweats and a hoodie in the time it had taken me to stand and stare at my utter stupidity.

His voice trailed off as he saw the foil strip in my hand.

“What’s that?” he asked. In two strides he crossed the room, taking the packet out of my hand before I had the chance to hide it in my pocket.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

So worried… puke in a bucket worried…

He’s studying the back of the packet.

“But it’s not Friday. It’s Monday,” he said, blues searching my face. “Lilah, what does this mean?”

“It means I’ve been a complete idiot and forgotten to take my pill for a few days. But it’s nothing to worry about. I used to forget to take it all the time.”

I’m lying.

He cocks an eyebrow. “Did you have sex back then as much as you are now?”

“Rude… but. No.” I ground the word through my teeth. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

I didn’t want him to panic, although my own my breathing was hitching in a worrying way.

“I’m not panicking.” I stared up into his face while my pule raced with the speed of a one hundred metre sprint.

“What? Why aren’t you panicking?”

Hell, I was… and am.

“Because I’m not.”

The blues gazed at me steadily. “It wouldn’t bother me either way. Whatever happens, happens.”

He stepped closer and tilted my chin up to face him. For the longest moment he stared at me before his lips brushed mine in the sweetest kiss.

“Come on, crazy girl. We’re going to be late for class.”

That’s it. That’s all he had to say on the subject. We walked the whole way to class in silence holding hands.