Page 129 of If We Were Young

I shook away the niggling doubts. I couldn’t think, didn’t have the luxury of that. I just had to run. Had to catch him.

People were in their seats. The guy wasn’t lying, the train was packed, with only ten minutes until departure.

Right. Ronnie. Let’s be methodical about this.

Oh bollocks, let’s just run.

I panted as I ran up the first carriage scanning all the people in the seats. There were so many tall men in business suits, but no Matthew.

Next carriage. The carriages were unnecessarily long. The Hogwarts Express had nothing on these bad boys. More scanning, more returning glances from people wondering why I was almost crawling into their laps.

“So sorry,” I gushed to one guy, who from the back had black hair swept over the edge of his collar just like Matthew did.

“It’s okay. Are you looking for someone?” He crinkled a smile. Oooh, what lovely eyes.

Mental bitch slap. “Yes. Six foot four, face like beautiful thunder.”

The other guy laughed. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I launched into the next carriage. God, this train was long. How many carriages did they need to go to Scotland every evening?

Too many.

Once I’d run the seated carriages I was left only with the cabins and their snuggly bunks for two.

First class was first and my own cabin was there.

I knocked on the door opposite it. No answer.

I tapped again just to make sure and then moved on.

“Hi.” I smiled big at the woman with the tight perm. She clutched a child who looked like it would howl the whole journey. Its cheeks were red and blotchy, the mother’s eyes wide. Not-enough-sleep eyes.

“Sorry. Wrong door.”

She swung it shut without a word.

Next door. Old couple.

Next door. Young couple.

Next door. Well I don’t know what that was.

On and on and on until I was at the end of the whole flipping train.

Oh God. He wasn’t here. The realisation made my ligaments pull and twist. My legs wobbled and my chest caved.

A dark shape moved just at the other end of the final carriage and my heart lifted into my throat. “Oh, it’s you.” I sighed in dismay. In my grasp was my crumpled ticket. The man from the seat right near the beginning of my epic search smiled. He did have pretty eyes. “I’m looking for the bathroom.”

“Oh that’s in the carriage before, third door on the right. There was a guy heading in there with a newspaper, I’d give it a while.”

He laughed and it was hard not to appreciate how handsome he was. Not enough though, not my type of handsome. I’d been blinded by Matthew for so long. So long, I’d become weary down to my bones.

“I don’t suppose you want a first-class cabin, do you?” I offered him the ticket. “I’m going to be getting off now.”

“Are you planning to climb out of the window? Next stop is Crewe.”

“What?” I pressed my face against the back door. Shitting hell. The train bumbled along, nice and leisurely as it crawled out of London. “Oh crap.”