Page 102 of Tears of Gold

Eli was trying to find my mum.

How much money has he thrown at that?

I lift the document and look at it more. One day in a registry office my dad married a woman who then left. A woman who didn’t want me and left. I don’t think I’d want to know her anyway. I place my hand on my tummy. It’s still flat and I’m still waiting for the day when I will wake up and the fact there is a baby in there becomes real.

Right, dinner. I put the page back inside and leave it on Eli’s bedside table. He can have the facts he’s tried to find. I think I’ll be better off not knowing.

“Faith, you came.” Jennifer smiles at me over the edge of her champagne glass and leans closer, kissing my cheek. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Well, Elijah is out of town with work, so I’m trying to attend on his behalf.”

She watches me closely. "I heard a rumour you haven’t missed an event since the weekend. I thought you said it was time we all stopped bowing to my mother.”

I flush, but she chuckles and waves a hand at me. “I didn’t exactly say that; I just questioned why she had such a tight control.”

Jennifer smiles at a passing couple but thankfully doesn’t call them over. “If you could remake the Faircloughs, what would you have us do?”

“Something worthwhile.” I speak without thinking. “More for charity, more for art.”

“But we have the foundation, and you are going to be bringing all sorts of glamorous attention to that when you are on our TV show.”

“There are other more important things.” I sigh. I don’t want to fight. “I would maybe just relax the family, stop living by all these crazy rules. Let everyone love who they want to.”

“It sounds something my ex-husband would have advocated.”

“I would have liked to meet him. Eli said he was very artistic, and that’s where he gets it from.”

She nods, her face tightening a little. “He is, was, whatever the semantics is, but he doesn’t have Elijah’s talent.”

“See, this is what I mean. Eli is so talented he could have had a wonderful career but look where he is.”

“And you could have been a tattoo artist your whole life but look where you are because of the Faircloughs.”

She’s playing devil’s advocate. I’m almost entirely sure. “Ah, but I’d already taken myself to Uni. I was already on a mission of my own. Maybe I would never have been offered a TV show. Maybe I wouldn’t have a glass heart in the Tate. I don’t know.”

She smiles and it actually seems genuine. It’s actually pretty damn scary. “Maybe you would have. I spoke to Whitlocks; they said you haven’t given them anything in a while.”

“No.” I shake my head and take a sip of my orange juice. “The last few weeks have been busy.”

Jennifer leans closer and whispers in my ear. “You know I was pretty damn proud of how you managed moving day.”

I chuckle. “I wouldn’t have made it without my friend.”

“You have good friends. I see that.”

“I do. They’ve seen me through a lot.”

“I wonder what that sort of friendship would be like?”

Her statement takes me aback. “I’m available, if you want to find out?” I can’t believe I’ve just said that. Am I insane? I must be.

She smiles, but it’s tight and doesn’t meet her eyes. “Let’s go mingle, then we can get the hell out of here. You must be knackered.”

“I am. I’ll be glad when Eli is home tomorrow. I hate him being away.”

“Will you call me after the scan and let me know how you get on?”

I swallow hard. “Sure. I will.”