Page 380 of Mercy Written in Blood

"Yes."

"Then do not ask me to become less than you love because you are afraid."

Renji recoiled as if struck. Haruki's expression softened immediately.

"Renji—"

"No."

He stood again. The chair shifted against the floor.

"You think that is what I am asking?"

"I think you want me safe."

"I want you alive."

"At any cost?"

"No."

"Then there will always be moments when we choose danger."

"Yes."

"And moments when one of us cannot protect the other."

"Yes."

Haruki's gaze remained steady.

"That is what you have to accept."

Renji turned away. The curtain moved slightly with air from the ventilation. Outside the room, footsteps passed. Guards. Nurses. A world continuing while they named the terms under which they might remain inside it.

"I cannot accept losing you," Renji said.

"You do not have to accept it." Haruki's voice lowered. "You have to accept that loving me cannot prevent it."

Renji looked back. Haruki's face held grief already. Not anticipation. Recognition. He had spent his life surrounded by people whose loyalty was measured in risk. He knew power did not purchase survival.

"I am afraid every time you leave a room," Renji admitted.

Haruki's eyes closed briefly.

"Since the depot?"

"Before."

"How long before?"

"The garden."

A weak laugh escaped him.

"That was early."

"Yes."