Page 82 of Wear It Like a Crown

He couldn’t do that. It was wrong, an abuse of power, and he needed to stop it. This was not him. This was not who he wanted to be.

As soon as Mo and Nate were gone, Joshua would put an end to it.

A little blankly, he echoed Nate’s goodbyes and turned to Mo. “Hey,” he remembered to ask, low with his mouth against Mo’s ear. “So it’s going well? He told you what’s going on?”

“Starting to. Working on it.” Mo pulled back, a genuine smile in his eyes. Joshua returned it.

He waited until the sound of their footsteps had faded down the stairs before he closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, letting the silence of his empty flat settle in his blood. All right. So he’d made a mistake. He should not have resorted to looking for virtual traces of Leo, should most definitely not have brought in MI5. He’d call it off. He’d call it off right now, and it would be as though it had never happened.

Pushing away from the door, he went to retrieve his tablet, was about to pull up George’s email with the contact information when he noticed a new message in his inbox. The subject was a simple “Your Request”, sent by John Fallon. The MI5 guy.

Joshua held his breath.

He should delete it. He should.

Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and clicked on the message.

It wasn’t too late. He hadn’t read it yet. He could still delete it,could still pretend he’d never, ever gone that far. Exhaling in a rush, he opened his eyes and focused on the single line of text.

There is no record of such a person, Sir. Would you like me to explore alternate solutions?

Joshua shoved the tablet away and struggled to control his breathing. Fought down the sour bile that rose to the back of his throat.

* * *

The black Mercedes hadn’t been parked in front of Leo’s house when he’d left.

Drawing to a sharp halt, Leo startled when the football he’d been juggling bounced down next to him on the pavement, rolling a few feet before it came to rest against one of the car tyres. With its tinted windows in the back, the Mercedes was blatantly too posh for the area. Could it be…? Under the excuse of picking up the ball, Leo peered into the front.

Zach. That wasZachbehind the wheel.

Oh God. Joshua was here.

Had he changed his mind? Did he want Leo in his life after all? Even if it was just as friends—well, they couldn’t be more, not if Joshua wanted to be open with the public. Leo needed to remember that. The one time he’d allowed himself to forget, he’d ended up in Joshua’s bed, and Joshua had kicked him out in the morning.

Friends. It was better than nothing.

With a nod at Zach, Leo straightened and turned to enter his building. The front door hadn’t locked in years so Joshua had to be inside, waiting upstairs in front of Leo’s flat. Why had he come? What had happened in between last night and this morning that would suddenly make him seek Leo out? Unease shivered in his belly, and he was overly aware that he was sweaty and dishevelled from playing football in the park, an unsuccessful attempt to distract himself.

He climbed the stairs slowly, ball clutched to his chest. Last turn. A deep breath, and Leo made himself continue.

Fuck. Okay, yes. There Joshua was, sitting with his back against Leo’s door.

At the sound of Leo’s footsteps, Joshua looked up sharply. Shadowswere braided into his hair, the green of his eyes reduced to a dull grey, and the moment he saw Leo, he clambered to his feet. Leo wanted to wrap himself all around him and cling until every last trace of tension had drained from Joshua’s body.

Instead, he stopped a couple of paces away. “Hi,” he said softly. His skin felt brittle, and he touched his knuckles against the wall to ground himself.

Joshua stared at him, motionless for several seconds that lurched like tidal waves. Then he opened his mouth and drew a deep breath, dragging his gaze away. “Hi, Leo. If that’s even your name.”

What—oh God.

Fuck, no.

No, no,no.

“What do you—” Leo began, his voice echoing hollowly in the stairway.

“There is,” Joshua’s voice hitched, “no Leo Graham. At least there isn’t one born on the 24th of December. Not in the UK.”