Page 81 of Wear It Like a Crown

Joshua took a deep breath and relaxed, just slightly. He leaned in to kiss Mo’s cheek, then shot Nate something that he hoped would pass for a smile. “Treat him well, will you?”

The surprise on Nate’s face lingered for only a moment, then his expression shifted into one of hope. “I’ll do my best,” he said.

“I can hear you guys, you know,” Mo put in.

Joshua pinched Mo’s hip, nodded at Nate and left the kitchen to give them some space. He rejoined Tristan and Ed, draping himself over both of them to demand cuddles, but even as he closed his eyes and sank into the familiarity of their closeness, his mind was churning, chasing questions from one side of his skull to the other.

A guy like me doesn’t get to keep a guy like you.

Kelsey had arrived some time after the game, drunk and giggly from a football night with her best friends. Joshua had told her and Tristan to kip in his bedroom—“Door stays open, no funny business in my bed”—and had agreed to share the sofa with Ed.

It was almost like old times. Joshua had caught Ed performing purely by chance in some London bar, one of those glorious nights when Joshua had been fortunate and no one had leaked his location, back beforePrinceWatchhad dug its claws into him. Ed had captivated every single person in the room with nothing but his voice and hisguitar, with songs that felt like small revelations. When Joshua had approached him afterwards, Ed had taken one look at him, then given an incredulous laugh and asked, “Shit, am I expected to curtsy now? Think I might topple over if I try, mate. Not the most coordinated in general, and they pay me in drinks here.”

They’d spent the rest of the night talking and drinking, and a few days later, Ed had shown up on Joshua’s doorstep with a hopeful grin and a knapsack. Since Joshua’s previous flat had come without a guest room, Ed had camped out on Joshua’s sofa for a fortnight, and Joshua had learned a lot about life and dedication in those two weeks.

“You trust too easily,” Ed had told him three days in. Joshua had shrugged and grinned.

“I wasn’t wrong about you, was I?”

Unfortunately, nostalgia didn’t make for comfortable sleep. It had looked too much like rain to use the bed outside, and while the sofa in the living room made a generous bed for one person, it was crowded for two. When Joshua woke for the third time from nearly tumbling to the floor, he gave up.

Leaving Ed to slumber in peace, he grabbed his tablet and padded outside. The morning sky was still overcast, grey light blanketing the city and everything quiet when Joshua sat down on the sofa bed and huddled under the afghan to ward off the chill. Unlocking the tablet, he told himself this was a bad idea. An invasion of Leo’s privacy.

A guy like me.

Screw this. Really, just… God, Joshua was so bloody tired of Leo’s cryptic clues. Why could Nate open up, but Leo couldn’t? If Leo didn’t trust Joshua at all—well, then what did he have to lose? Nothing. There was absolutely nothing to lose.

Joshua navigated to Google, typed in Leo’s name, and waited for the results to load.

Half an hour later, Joshua set the tablet aside and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. So. Leo was a virtual ghost. No social media account, not even a picture linked to his name. Since Jamesworked without a website, there wasn’t anything to be found there either. There was just… nothing.

How? In this day and age, how was that possible?

Joshua’s stomach felt as though it was filled with lead. No one could be so paranoid as to erase all virtual tracks of their existence. What about school records, or the graduation list from a university? Odd jobs where Leo’s name would be added to some “our team” page? A random photograph taken at some event?

Picking the tablet up again, Joshua stared blankly at the screen for several moments, a little numb. Then he called up a new email to George.

Who’s that person at MI5 who sometimes helps you out? Can you send me the contact details? .x - J

Mo and Nate were the last to join them for breakfast, and one glance was enough to tell Joshua that something had changed between them—they sat just a little bit closer, hands bumping, knees pressed together under the table. With Tristan and Kelsey turned towards each other, speaking in some kind of shorthand code, Joshua was glad of Ed’s presence.

Ed was the first to leave, shortly followed by Tristan and Kelsey, then Nate got to his feet as well, smiling as he thanked Joshua for the delicious breakfast as well as the hospitality. “I’ll drive you home,” Mo told him.

Nate’s eyes were warm when they found Mo. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Mo said.

Joshua felt himself start to smile in spite of the unease that had taken up permanent residence in his belly, indecision weighing on him. More than once, he’d come close to changing his mind and contacting the MI5 bloke so as to call off the basic background check on Leo Graham, born twenty-seven years ago on the 24th of December.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said to Mo.

Mo’s very mature response consisted of sticking out his tongue. He seemed lighter than Joshua had seen him in a while, content, and it made Joshua’s grin soften.

He walked both of them to the door, hugging Nate goodbye. While Nate brought his own arms up to return the embrace, he looked openly confused, and Joshua was prompted into a chuckle. “That’s for making my best mate happy,” Joshua told him. “I like people who make my friends happy.”

Nate’s features relaxed and he gave Joshua’s shoulder a quick squeeze, then hesitated briefly. “He’ll—Leo. Don’t give up on him, yeah? He really… I mean, not that I know anything for sure, but it’s just—it’s tricky.”

Tricky, Joshua thought. Right, yes, tricky. Jesus, that even Nate had only pieces of the puzzle meant that it had to be bad, really bad, and—and Joshua had asked an MI5 officer to look into Leo’s background. What the hell had he been thinking?