Page 50 of The Replay

"I thought you wanted to find yourself." He makes a gesture to let me into the elevator first, once the doors have disappeared into the walls. "To start over. Didn't you say that once?"

"Maybe this means I am still someone who wants her parents' approval."

The doors close and I press several times on the button with a P1 etched on it. Fuck. Am I more caught up in wanting my parents' approval than I realized? More than I should be? Probably. Now that I'm not the Daughter Who Got Everything Right, I'm not sure where I fit in the family anymore. And I'm definitely feeling the pressure.

My next round of therapy can't come soon enough.

A creaking sound signals the start of our descent. Several things seem to be in dire need of oiling and maintenance. My psyche included.

I sigh. "It's not like people fully outgrow that phase. I'm sure you'd still hate disappointing your mom and abuela."

"I would hate it, but I'm not bound by it the same way you are."

I arch an eyebrow at him. "Is that so?"

I'm ready to challenge him some more, but the elevator halts with a louder version of the earlier creak. The lights flicker a couple of times, only to give up and leave us in the dark. Utter and complete… nothing.

"Oh no. Oh no," I repeat.

I reach for Dom with one hand, and the handlebars at the side of the car with the other. My heart keeps going down and down, pretending the elevator had never stopped, until it reaches the bottom of the concrete shaft. Then it keeps going.

"It's fine," Dom says. The light of his phone spreads through the space as he wakes the device up. "No signal, but people know we're here."

"Right. Of course. Are you sure?"

I'm breathing fast and shallow, but it's the strain in my voice that makes it click. Just like that, I'm starting to panic.

He turns on the flashlight and points it at the panel. He doesn't say anything when I grasp at his bicep, and I follow him and his movements like he's my anchor.

The light streams on the emergency button. With my free hand, I press it several times.

"Dom. Nothing's happening. We're trapped."

He turns the light off and I gasp. We're in a vacuum. A dark hole. The only thing stopping us from dropping into free fall is a layer of metal.

"Hey. Mariana. People know we're here." He straightens and faces me.

I know this because his hands are on my shoulders, squeezing hard. Mine find a place on his chest. My nails spear into this flesh, shirt be damned. I drop my forehead to his chest, too. He's a pillar from which I can cling in the middle of all of this. I focus on my breath and the sound of his voice.

"How do you know?" I manage.

"People saw us leave," he says. "People are waiting for us at the TD. Someone else is going to want to use this elevator, and they'll realize it's not working. This could end any second now."

"Okay. Yes. Okay." I'm not hyperventilating, but I can't control my breathing enough to relax either. "Fuck."

"I don't remember you being scared of small spaces. Or the dark."

"Isn't it fun? A new experience for both of us."

His hands leave me and I startle. I fill my fists with his shirt. Tight.

"Just getting my phone," he says.

The light of the flashlight turns on again. He crouches, leaving me on my own. Bereft. Adrift. He puts the phone on the floor by the corner, with the light pointing toward the mirror, so it diffuses. Things turn visible again. I breathe a little easier.

He stands and I force a deep breath into my chest. I fist my hands at my sides.

"Okay. Good." I gaze around. "Three things I can see. The panel with no lights on yet, dammit. The grill on the ceiling. Is it called a ceiling in an elevator? Uhm, your frown."