Page 49 of The Replay

"I am." I give her a charming smile. "Thanks for having me. If you'll excuse me."

I leave.

Nat and Damián are surprised and appreciative when I sit next to them and give them the drinks. The game is looking like a win for the Vortex, but I know better than to say that out loud. Wouldn't want to jinx a team's chances. I get on my phone, finally checking Mariana's texts from earlier.

Mariana: I'm reminding you what the new plan is.

That's her response to my last text. A while later, a follow up.

Mariana: Beware. My mom has mentioned a couple of times she hasn't had a chance to chat with you. I think she's looking for her moment.

Yeah, well, too late.

I'm still considering if I want to say anything else, when I get a third text.

For someone who said she might not respond, she's a liberal texter.

Mariana: My mom thinks you're still very handsome and asked me if we're spending a lot of time together, since your friends are becoming my friends.

Dom: I hope you implied we don't pay enough attention to each other for it to matter. That was the plan, wasn't it?

Mariana: That's exactly what I did, but I'm not sure she believed me. Unfortunately, I did tell her you and I were fighting a lot, that day at University. So I think she's suspicious of all our politeness. It sucks. I bet she thinks I'm senseless and I’ll be tempted to go back to you only because we had a really good thing once upon a time.

At least in this we're on the same page. Both Mariana and I are betting on not going back.

Dom: We won't, so it's fine. What did she say? We control our behavior and if we're good, criticism will land empty. Eventually we will be free of people's expectations.

Mariana: The way you're phrasing that is filling me with hope. /sarcasm

I glance at her and catch her putting her phone in her pocket. The conversation is done for now. We probably won't interact much for the rest of the night, and I make myself relax. This really could be the start of a dynamic we can survive.

Or so I think, until I see a visit to a local library appear in my work calendar a few days later, with only Mariana and me listed on it.

Chapter 17

Mariana

This library event was not meant to cause me so much heart trouble. It's a mix of things, including anxiety, which I still can't seem to get under control. Like my walls are going down despite my efforts, and all my worries are leaking out. I reached out to my old psychologist, who will refer me to someone in Seattle. Still waiting on that. For now, I figured out that the problem is feeling the pressure of trying to impress my parents. No surprises there. The whole point of coming to work with the Strike for a year was to prove I know what I'm doing. I doubt they will give Maisie and me the green light upon my return otherwise. If I don't succeed, the pressure to do as told when I'm working for the family will break me.

Then there's Dom. Despite him saying he's still angry, he was a lot easier to deal with at the hockey game. Now, stuck with me at a community outreach event, he continues to be more approachable. Like having an outlet through our texts is making it easier to pretend on the outside. It helps.

What doesn't help is thinking he looks adorable sitting on a tiny chair, reading a book to five-year-olds. An athlete in business casual.Looking so grown up, so professional, yet so kind and sweet, smiling at excited young kids. Posing perfectly for the PR people. Helping promote the donation the team is making to the library program. It's just too perfect. I can't let it bring down my guard even further.

Is he reenacting the book as much as he is reading it? Are the kids giggling? Are parents and librarians swooning? Yes to all. Am I struggling to keep my own reaction under wraps, with the way my heart skips a beat every time he smiles? Or how I have to clench my teeth to manage how intensely tender the spot is where my love for him used to live? Even worse, when the crack on the walls behind which I keep my fears keeps on expanding by the second? Yep. Guilty.

I'm glad to be done with the event shortly after. I need the privacy of my office. Distance will be my refuge, when Dom and I are not lashing out as much anymore. The way I'm feeling, I'll need to use a few old calming strategies to come back to my senses.

Dom and I say goodbye to everyone and leave together down a long hallway. The building is old, with that look on the walls that comes from multiple layers of paint building on top of each other, and the harsh tones of fluorescent lights.

He doesn't look at me when he breaks the silence. "I thought you'd send other people in the department to do this kind of event. Maybe Pen, since it's in her realm."

"The Seattle Strike Foundation team is still too small. Everyone was busy with other tasks, including Pen. At least this way I can make sure it goes smoothly. I need everything to go flawlessly so I can impress the board, the community, and anyone who may want to read the reports at the end of the season."

I can imagine my mom keeping an eye out for my first annual general meeting, ready to ask for a copy of the executive summary. She ran the family charity organization for a long time, but presides over the board now. Alicia Montt knows this job well. She'll have opinions. I'm not sure I want to hear them. Even if, with all her experience, she'd be able to teach me a thing or two.

"Mhh." Dom presses the button for the elevator, and the doors scrape slowly open. "Who could that be, that you're trying to impress so badly?"

I press my lips together. "Don't judge."