Page 169 of The Score

"And, what? No more sex?" I ask. "We'd get a divorce? Go back to the way things were before my dad got sick?"

The idea of going back wrecks me. I hate it so much, it becomes the final argument to the jury of my heart. I don't want to keep things the way they were. I want what we have. All of it. Because I am a smart woman. I am a good friend. I'll find a way to love him right. He deserves it… but so do I.

Despite his beard, it's clear he grinds his teeth.

"Whatever you want," he says.

"Shit, Leon. You'd let me walk away with half your stuff, too, wouldn't you?"

But it's a rhetorical question. I know he would. The man truly needs protection.

If he were to answer, it would just annoy me on his behalf. Before he opens his mouth, I let go of the swing. I scramble to the ground, landing hard on my knees before I push him back. The letter flies away on a breeze, landing somewhere nearby. He oomphs as I land on top of him, but the sound stops as soon as my lips find his mouth.

I kiss him. He kisses me. Tongues and lips and even teeth. Hands caressing and testing the edges of our bodies. In a swift move, he pushes me onto my back. We don't stop kissing. Right here in this backyard that has seen so much.

Teenagers love hard, and loving hard is brave.

Being all grown up can only make it better. If I'm brave, I get to love hard. I will be loved hard, back. If I give it enough thought, I can be wise about it, too. After all, I never felt like this. Not as a teenager, and not as the twenty-five year old who gave up on romance.

At the end of the day, what happens around us has the power to change our DNA. The physiological mechanisms may explain how it happens, but it doesn't make the consequences any less real. And nature knows what it's doing. The love Bear and I have has been nurtured since the day he moved next door two decades ago.

My arms go around his thick form. His hands push my hair back. He drops kisses on my temples, my cheeks, my forehead, even the tip of my nose.

"Demand the words from me, too." I find the skin of his back under his shirt. "I know you can be bossy. Don't make it easy on me."

He cradles my head. With him on top of me, it feels like he's holding me. Caging me on the ground— lovingly. He's my shelter against the wind, and the sun in the sky.

"Tell me how you love me," he says. "Tell me all the ways you could love me."

"I love you in every way." I drag my fingers around his neck, into this thick hair. I bring him in for a kiss. "Our bodies knew before we did, but I'm finally catching up."

"Fuck, Pen." He kisses me. "I love you."

"We'll figure everything else out, all right? Just promise me we'll do it together."

"We've done most things together since I moved next door." He leans on me, forehead to forehead. "I'm not about to stop."