Page 170 of The Score

Chapter 55

Bear

After some more kissing, we agree to go back inside. We've committed enough exhibitionism to last us for a while.

I'm on cloud nine as I put all the dirt I dug back in its place, plant included. Pen takes the metal box back inside and I follow. In my head, we're walking on rainbows.

"We need to check everything else out," Pen says. "But I'm afraid my letter isn't any good, compared to yours."

I take the box out of her hands. I leave it on the kitchen island, take out her letter, and bring her to me. With her back to my front, we read it together.

Bear,

Can you believe you're getting out of high school with such a cool nickname? You're welcome, by the way.

Jokes aside, thank YOU. If I gave you that name, it's because you cared so much about my tears you wanted to avenge me.

How could I not be scared of what's to come? I won't have one of you around.

Okay, okay, I know I'm being silly. Maybe I'm deflecting with humor, because I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to cope with the idea of not having you around. The other day I read that evolution made friends happen so we can share our burdens and support each other through difficult times. Are my burdens too much for you to help me carry? I hope not, because I'm not the kind to spread my love like some people spread rumors in a high school corridor.

Anyway. All I want to say is thank you, and please please please don't forget me. I never want to know what it's like to go a week without hearing your thoughts. If you must tell me about your latest TV obsession, go right ahead. If you want to complain again about the unfinished fanfic you found that hasn't been updated in three years, I'll pat your shoulder consolingly. I promise to never make fun of you for the things you love, like I know you think other people would. In fact, I'll encourage you! Just make me the one you vent to, and we'll be fine.

But don't let that fool you, I'll take as much of you as I can.

I know it's selfish to want so much of someone, but it's really your fault for being so darn generous and kind-hearted. Who in their right mind would want to share someone so biased in one's favor? But I promise I'll work on that. So when you find the love of your life and you marry her, you choose to keep me around too.

Yeah, I know that's not very generous of me, but at least it's honest.

I know I don't show you how much I care about you. Not often enough, and not the right way, anyway. I promise I'll try to dobetter. And I promise I won't hold you to that silly pact we made a few months ago. You get to marry whoever you want. Even with my uncharitable heart, I know it was unfair to get that promise out of you. So I'm not counting on it. You're free from this one burden. I'll always be the friend you want, if I can.

Love, Pen.

She drew two interconnected hearts at the end. It has mine beating twice as fast.

"I'm sorry it wasn't as romantic as yours." She turns in my arms. "But it's too late for you to backtrack."

I smirk and back her up against the stone counter. I slide my hands on the cold surface behind her, palm against granite, so my arms keep her in place.

"So you're caging me now?" She asks, a gleam in her eyes.

"I have no interest in taking anything back." I raise an eyebrow. "Or did you forget I've been waiting for this for more than a decade?"

Her proximity is a promise. It reminds me I didn't imagine what we just admitted to each other. To know she loves me in this way, too, makes me feel like I could rule the world.

"And you held yourself to the marriage pact." She smiles as she kisses me. "Like you didn't feel it was a burden at all."

"Not a burden." I find her rings with my hand, and rub my thumb on them. "Just another way to promise I want you in my life more than anyone else."

"God, I'm one lucky woman." She tries to kiss me, but I pull back.

She gives me an offended look, but I ignore it.

"One more thing," I say. "Do you still have a tattoo gun?"

Confusion mars her brow. "What?"

"I need you to ink those two hearts you drew in your letter, somewhere on my skin."