Page 115 of Certified To Handle You 2

The hot water helped loosen some of the tension in my shoulders, but it ain’t do nothin’ for my mind. Kay’Lo tellin’ me about Sha’Nelle’s grandma kept playin’ over and over, and every time I tried to think about somethin’ else, I pictured her sittin’ in some hospital room tryna act stronger than she felt.

Once I got dressed, I sat in my recliner and sparked the blunt. My phone rested on the table beside me, and I stared at it between every few pulls like the shit was gon’ call her by itself.

Sha’Nelle ain’t reached out to me…

She ain’t ask how I was doin’, ain’t say she missed me and ain’t send one lil’ message to let me know I crossed her mind. I was still salty about Greystone, and the fact that she was dealin’ with that other nigga made it worse. I hated knowin’ he was probably around her while I sat all the way out here, wonderin’ how she was doin’.

My pride told me to leave the shit alone, but my heart picked up the phone.

I found her name and stared at it for another second before pressin’ call. It rang long enough for me to think she might not answer, but then the line connected.

“Hello?” Sha’Nelle answered.

The sound of her voice went straight through me.

It felt like I had been holdin’ my breath for the whole damn month, and hearin’ her say one word finally let me breathe again. I sat back in the recliner and closed my eyes for a second ‘cause I ain’t want her hearin’ how much that shit affected me.

“Wussup, ‘Nelle?” I asked.

She went quiet for half a second before answering, “Hey, Renza.”

“How you been?”

“I been good,” she replied. “How you been?”

“I been straight.”

Another silence settled between us, but it ain’t feel empty. It felt full of every damn thing we had left unsaid when I dropped her off at her mama house.

“I heard ‘bout yo’ grandma,” I told her. “I wanted to make sure she good.”

Sha’Nelle let out a light breath before answerin’ me. “She better now. Her blood pressure got too high, and she wasn’t drinkin’ enough water. They keepin’ her another night ‘cause of the stroke she had before, but all her tests been lookin’ okay.”

“You been up there with her?”

“Most of the day,” she said. “I just left not too long ago.”

“You eat?”

“Yes, Renza,” Sha’Nelle replied, and I could hear the smallest change in her voice.

That lil’ bit of softness made me smile even though I knew I had no business doin’ it. “I’m just askin’.”

“I know,” she said. “Thank you for callin’ to check on her.”

“Ain’t gotta thank me for that.”

We got quiet again, and I rubbed my thumb along the side of my phone while starin’ across the room. I could’ve ended the call there and protected whatever pride I still had left, but hearin’ her voice had already fucked that plan up.

“I miss you,” I told her.

Sha’Nelle ain’t answer.

The silence went on long enough for irritation to start mixin’ with the ache in my chest. I sat forward in the recliner and took another pull from the blunt before puttin’ it in the ashtray.

“You been doin’ you in Trill-Land?” she finally asked.

I frowned. “What that mean?”