Page 95 of Shattered Oaths

“Don’t look for reasons to doubt yourself. I knew, Bella. You aren’t dirty. Not even in the slightest. I’m a scumbag and a liar. I lied to you because I thought I was doing what was right in order to not lose you and Killian. But that doesn’t excuse what I did, and I won’t blame you if you never forgive me.”

I jump when his hand grips mine, and I turn to look at him in surprise. His eyes hold so many emotions, and my heart splits into two when I see the glisten of unshed tearsalong his lower lash line. “But I won’t stop trying, Bella. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life trying to prove myself to you. Because I love you, Bells.And I’m so fucking sorry.”

CHAPTER 41

NOAH

Ipull the hood of my sweater over my head and shuffle down in my seat, getting myself comfortable for the night as I watch all of the lights in the house switch off one by one.

This has become a sort of ritual for me now. Every night, I park between the trees lining Killian’s driveway and camp out until the sun rises.

It’s the only way I’m getting even an ounce of sleep.

Just knowing that Bella is merely a few feet away rather than miles, settles some of the turmoil inside of me.

I tried to sleep in my bed – our bed – on the second night and made it only an hour before I couldn’t handle the overwhelming scent of her and had to get out.

Pulling my phone out, I open Bella’s message thread and type out the same message I’ve sent every night.

Me:Good night, Bella.

I’ve debated addingI love youto the end of that, but after the way she got out of my truck and walked awaywithout a single word the last time I’d said it, I decided against it.

I watch as it goes fromdeliveredtoreadand I hold my breath as I wait for the dots to appear.

Just like every night, they don’t come, but just like every night, I keep watching for any sign that she might change her mind and respond.

Only, I’m interrupted by a light knock on the window, causing me to jump. My head rears to the side, heart dropping with a tinge of disappointment when I’m met with Killian’s stormy gaze.

He jerks his chin at me in a way that tells me to get out of the truck and with a sigh, I toss my phone on the passenger seat, open my door and step out.

With arms folded over his chest, he looks me up and down and shakes his head. “How long are you going to keep this up?”

“As long as it takes,” I respond, my tone not faltering.

Killian sighs, his shoulders dropping. “Come on.”

I frown, watching in confusion as he starts to walk away before snapping myself out of it and following behind him.

He leads us through a long row of trees until the small seating area I helped him build comes into view and he takes a seat on one of the Adirondack chairs before pulling two beers out of the pocket of his sweats and handing me one.

My eyebrows raise in surprise, but I quickly mask it, taking the beer from him and moving to the chair next to his.

We’re quiet for a moment, the two of us opening and taking a drink from our beers. Killian relaxes back into hischair, pulling a box of cigarettes from his pocket and bringing one to his mouth.

I flick a quick glance at him. “I thought you quit.”

He lights the cigarette, takes a long drag and blows out a mouthful of smoke before replying. “Yeah, well some creep decided to take up residence in my driveway and I’m stressed.”

I huff a laugh, relaxing back into my chair and picking at the label on my bottle. “Fair point.”

He watches me curiously as he smokes and I find myself fidgeting. “This isn’t healthy, you know.”

“I’m aware.”

“So why are you still here?” Killian asks, but not in a way that says he wants me gone, more out of curiosity than anything else.

“I…” I try to think of an excuse, but shake my head, opting to go with the truth. “It’s the only way I can get some sleep.”