Page 76 of The Odyssean Duke

Evelina went to her bedroom, Mrs. Newbury coming behind. As she swept into her bedroom, colorful and lovely with the flowers she had insisted on having, a knot twisted in Evelina’s chest. This was her bedroom, and she had worked to make it her own. She had added light and color.

“How long will you be staying with your sister, Your Grace?” Mrs. Newbury asked. “I ask, so I know how many gowns you will require.”

Evelina sighed. “I do not know. A few days,” she said. “I will send for more clothing if need be.”

She still needed to have an heir, stillwantedan heir, and she could only do that if she inevitably returned to him. Or perhaps Stephan would come to her.

“Of course. I should have thought of that, Your Grace.”

Evelina said nothing. Her lady’s maid was not present, which was something of a relief. Evelina was hollowed out and raw, and it took all her strength to keep talking to Mrs. Newbury without lashing out.

Evelina dressed slowly, her thoughts an ocean away. It was as if she was a clock, repeating the same path over and over. How had she let this happen? Why had she fallen in love with him and worse, admitted that she cared for him? Evelina ran her hands through her hair, trying to force her disheveled curls into some semblance of order.

She turned to the mirror, inwardly cringing at her own appearance. Her eyes were rimmed red, and tear tracks still shone on her cheeks. Evelina adjusted her hair for a few more moments. Nothing seemed to improve her appearance, so at last, she admitted defeat. Evelina’s shoulders slumped, and sheabsentmindedly ran her hands over her pale pink gown. It was such a beautiful, cheerful color to wear on such a wretched day.

Evelina glanced at Mrs. Newbury, who was still bustling through Evelina’s gowns. “Send them after me,” Evelina said quietly. “I wish to leave as soon as possible.”

That soft, sympathetic look was like a knife to Evelina’s ribs. If she had received ambivalence or disdain, Evelina knew that she would have been hurt by it. Still, she found herself ill at ease with sympathy. Maybe a small part of Evelina believed that she was undeserving of such tenderness. She had done this to herself, after all.

This pain was the result of her own foolish errors. Why had she believed for even a moment that she could turn her marriage of convenience into a love-match? Evelina kept thinking of her poor decisions again and again, as if she might somehow find some means by which to escape the consequences of her actions.

“Thank you,” Evelina said quietly.

She left the room and descended the stairs, all her energy depleted. Evelina’s tears had run dry, leaving her feeling worn and wrung out. If she had not already asked for the coach, she might have flung herself onto her bed in the hopes of finding sleep and therefore, respite for just a few hours.

Now what?Evelina wondered.

Her husband had left, and he had provided her with no indication of when he would return. Stephan could not remain away for long if he wished to produce an heir in time to meet the contract’s stipulations. Still, Evelina was seized by the horrifying notion that he might decide she was simply too difficult to return to.

As Evelina entered the foyer, Stephan’s butler gave her a bright look; his happy expression faded in a heartbeat. “Are you well, Your Grace?”

She nodded stiffly. “Fine.”

Evelina swept past him, barely noticing when he stumbled around to reach the door before her. What might it be like to get into the coach and simply leave? Evelina imagined herself settling against the seat and telling her driver to just take her far away. She would go all the way to Scotland and live as a woman without a title, a nameless person who no one would look at twice.

Evelina could not do that. Even if she wished to flee, she doubted that she could. What would she do when Stephan inevitably remembered his duty to conceive an heir? He would come searching for her, and Evelina would seem like a coward.

“Your Grace.” The footman snapped to attention and drew open the coach door for her.

“I wish to visit my sister,” Evelina said.

“As you wish, Your Grace.”

For a heartbeat, she considered swearing the footman to secrecy. Evelina had assumed thus far that Stephan would be away for some time. What if he was not, though? What if he insisted on speaking to her and continuing their conversation quickly? Evelina sighed.

She could not bear to see Stephan again, not so soon after he had broken her heart, but asking the footman to grant her just one more request sounded like too much effort. As Evelina settled onto the cushions, the footman cast her a concerned look. She closed her eyes, silently hoping he would not ask why she looked so dreadful.

“I shall make all haste, Your Grace,” he said.

“Good,” Evelina muttered.

The door shut. Once she was alone, Evelina turned her head to the window, her eyes listlessly sweeping over the sight of London in the springtime. Servants gossiped to one another. What stories would they share about her? Evelina curled her fingers into her skirts, not caring that she wrinkled the fabric of them. Her thoughts went to the Dowager Duchess of Rothbury. She would be delighted to learn that Evelina and Stephan had quarreled.

The coach jolted into motion, and Evelina smiled bitterly. Her heart ached as the coach pulled her away from the townhouse, which had become her home over the past few weeks. That waswhere she had lost her maidenhood. It was where Stephan had shown her such tender care when she was ill. It was where she had imagined that she would live until their child was born, if not beyond that.

Evelina stifled a sob and lay down on the seat. Her worst fears had come true: she had fallen in love, and it was her doom.

CHAPTER 33