Page 56 of Donovan's Men

“In what sense?” Tyson frowned.

“Both that, as a psychologist, I don’t have all the answers.”

I rolled my eyes.

He continued, “And that my family dynamics are complicated. They’re proud of me…but feel I’ve wasted my life.”

“More fool them.” I gestured to his pie. “Eat up. We can talk revenge on your family later.”

“There will be no revenge. That would hurt Hamish more than it would relieve our great annoyance.” Tyson pursed his lips. “No revenge…except a life well-lived.”

“I suppose.” Happily, I watched as Hamish dug into his pie. “So the other thing I wanted to discuss.”

Tyson snorted. “Only one?”

I grinned. “Okay, there are, like, fifty things. But I’ll stick to what’s important enough to bring up.”

“What you think you can get away with.” Hamish. Just after he swallowed some pie.

“Yeah, I can own that.” I gestured between the two of them. “I want a triad. Plain and simple. Right now, you both have scruples. Doubts about how the relationship might work.”

“Yes.” Hamish nodded.

“Well…if that means you have to cut me out of the equation, I’m okay with that.”Total fucking bullshit…but I’m not going to stand in the way of two people finding happiness. No matter how much it’ll tear me up inside.

Tyson shook his head. “Nope.”

Hamish held up his fork. “I have to agree.” He pivoted his gaze to Tyson. “Not that I don’t want a relationship with you—”

“As I do with you,” Tyson was quick to add.

“But this…whatever this is…only works if three of us are in the relationship.” Hamish chuckled. “Words I truly never thought I’d say.”

“Okay.” My heart skipped a beat, and my chest tightened. “So where does that leave us?”

“With a lot of shit to work out.” Tyson’s expression was grim. “And I don’t know if that’s even possible.”

“One of the ground rules is communication.” I collected everyone’s empty plates and put them on the coffee table. “So we’ve got a group chat. And we each have each other’s phone numbers. If you guys need to talk, you do it, okay? You don’t need my permission or my say-so. You do what needs to be done. And—most importantly—you don’t need to loop me in after the fact. What you say to each other can remain between the two of you. I’m not so insecure that I need to know who you’re with at all times and what you’re saying about me.”

Tyson eyed me. “You said you’ve never been in a serious relationship?”

I wasn’t certain where he was going with this, but I nodded.

“So you haven’t dealt with a lot of jealousy.”

I shook my head. “I find that a wasted emotion. If you want out, then you leave. You don’t obsess over the other person and whether they’re being faithful.”

Hamish cocked his head. “That’s a tremendous amount of faith to put in a partner.”

“Look, am I a little jealous of how close Caressa and Michael are to Cole? Do I sometimes feel left out? That’s a yes. But I would never do anything that might jeopardize their happiness. Just like, if the two of you decide that each other is enough, I’m not going to try to hold you back. As if I ever could.”But it may hurt me in the process. Because yeah, these two were coming to mean everything to me.

“Your perspective is healthy.” Hamish nodded approvingly.

“But not always realistic. I’m not certain I’d be so sanguine if you two were discussing me behind my back. Not necessarily jealous—but not super comfortable, either.” Tyson rubbed his thigh.

I grabbed his hand. “I didn’t say this was going to be easy. Am I going to spend my time thinking about it? Hopefully not. All I want is for you to be happy. And I know how naïve that sounds.”

“Not naïve.” Hamish held my gaze with his super-intense green eyes. “Idealistic? Positive? Those aren’t things I get to associate with everyone I know.”