Page 78 of Lance

“That’s what I said!” Layla cries. I close my eyes. Sometimes I really hate myband.

“We should be starting,” Louis says, glancing down at his watch. “Where’sJames?”

“He got held up,” Haylee says, coming to sit down on the other couch. She’s still eyeing me, her expression hard to read. “He said we should start withouthim.”

Louis sighs, clearly not happy with the arrangement. “Fine,” he says, pulling out a sheath of papers. “The label just sent over some info about the tour. We’re starting mid-April.”

There’s that ice water feeling again. But this time it feels like it’s dripping down into my chest, chilling my entire body from the inside. The tour. I hadn’t thought about it inweeks.

“So these are the cities,” Louis says, spreading the papers out on the coffee table in front of the couch. Everyone else leans forward to look, but I feel frozen in my seat. We’re going on tour in less than two months. What in the hell am I going to dothen?

Ever since Angie left Simon with me I’ve only been managing to hold my shit together by focusing on my immediate surroundings. What do I need to do to get us through this day? This week? Thinking beyond that has felt damn near impossible—way too scary. Taking care of Simon for now has been going just fine. Thinking about what should happen to Simon long-term? I can barely wrap my mind around it. Things are good right now. I’m having fun with Willa. Simon seems to be doing well in school and at home. And that, literally, is all I’ve been able to focuson.

But now the future is butting its head into my carefully controlled environment. We’re going on tour. And I have a six-year-old to take careof.

“You okay?” Dylan mutters and I nod, leaning forward to pretend to read the calendar, not wanting any of them to see my face. Whatever else Louis says about the tour plans, I don’t really hear him. All I can think is what in the hell I’m going to do withSimon.

And how guilty I feel for wishing I didn’t have him to worryabout.

Finally Louis gathers the papers from the table. “And we’re all set for San Diego at the end of the week,” he’s saying as he frowns down at his watch. “Where in the hell is James? You’re supposed to be recordingtoday.”

Haylee glances at her phone. “He’s on hisway.”

Louis sighs as he stands. “I have some calls to make. I’ll be in the office. Let me know when you’re ready tostart.”

As soon as he goes, Haylee stands up. “Lance,” she says, nodding toward the hall. “Aword.”

I follow her out, feeling strangely numb. I follow her a few paces down the hall and stop when she does. She leans against the wall, her arms crossed, watching my face. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” she asks, her voicelow.

“What do you mean?” I ask, knowing it’s stupid to even try to pretend. Her eyesnarrow.

“Willa.”

I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “It’s really not any of yourbusiness.”

Her eyes are practically slits now. “Really. You think James will see it thatway?”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t James’s business,” Isnap.

“And you don’t think what happens between you and James affects the rest ofus?”

My temper flares in my chest. “I should have known you’d take his side. It’s always been the two of you against the world, hasn’tit?”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Who said anything about taking sides? I’m just worried, Lance. Because you know he’s going to freak the hell out when he finds out about this. And that affects all ofus.”

“How do you know he’s going to findout?”

She watches me for a long moment. “So this is just a casual thing?” she asks. “You’re just messing around withher?”

“I didn’t say that!” God, she makes it sound so…shallow. It pisses meoff.

“Well, if it’s serious then yes, Lance. You can count on her brother findingout.”

I run my hands through my hair again, feeling a headache begin behind my temple. “Look, Haylee…” But I trail off, not really knowing what to say toher.

“Willa is a really specialgirl.”

I snap my head up, glaring at her. She thinks I need her to tell methat?