Page 79 of Lance

“She’s practically family to me. I don’t want to see her gettinghurt.”

“And you think I’m going to hurt her,” I say, my voiceflat.

She narrows her eyes a little, studying me. “I think youcould. Because I’m pretty sure it’s not just messing around for her,Lance.”

“It’s not messing around for me either,” I shout, then clamp my mouth shut. Shit. I hadn’t meant to saythat.

“Then I think you need to talk to James about it,” she says. “Because if you want this to be something real then you need to be the one to tell him. If he finds out on hisown…”

She doesn’t finish the sentence. She doesn’t need to. I know exactly what James will do if he finds out I’ve been corrupting his baby sister. I close my eyes, sinking sideways against the wall. I had woken up this morning feeling like the entire world was on my side. Andnow…

“Relationships are hard, Lance,” Haylee says, placing a hand lightly on my shoulder. “I think Lennon and I are proof of that. And you have a lot going on right now. If you can’t…if this isn’t something you can commit to, maybe it’s better to just let itgo.”

I open my eyes are stare at her. The look on her face makes my stomach clench. She thinks I’m going to fuck this up. She thinks I can’t be a good thing in Willa’slife.

The worst part is I can’t even blameher.

“Are we finished?” I ask, feeling suddenlytired.

Her eyes move past me down the hall. “James is here. We should probably go in and getstarted.”

“I’ll be rightthere.”

She doesn’t move right away, just watches me. “We can talk about this any time—you know that, right?” she asks, her voice low and much kinder than it was a moment ago. “Not just about Willa, either. We can talk about Angie or Simon or…whatever. We’re all here for you,Lance.”

Yeah, sure you are,I think, bitterness welling up inside.You just have zero faith inme.

“I’ll be right there,” I say again, averting my eyes now so I don’t have to see the look in herface.

“Okay.”

I stand in the hall for a few moments after she goes, trying to get myself under control. There’s a swell of bitterness inside me that I can’t seem to tamp down. Bitterness and…guilt. Guilt so strong I feel like I could retch. I sigh, pushing away from the wall, and go to join the rest of theband.

“And he was just there,” James is saying when I enter the studio. “Standing on my fucking porch.” He’s sitting in the spot I had vacated, his head in his hands, and the others are looking at him with worry on theirfaces.

I shoot Dylan a questioning look. “His dad,” he mutters. “Came to see him thismorning.”

James looks up, his eyes flashing. “It’s been sixteen fucking years,” he snaps. “Sixteen! Without a single word from him. And then he just shows up on my doorstep.” He clenches his hands against his knees. “I should have knocked himout.”

“What did he want?” I ask, and James glares atme.

“Let’s see, Lance,” he snaps. “I don’t hear from the guy in all that time and suddenly, just when I start to make some money, when my name starts being mentioned on TV and shit, he shows up. I can’t imagine what he wasafter.”

“James,” Haylee says, her voicesoft.

He closes his eyes. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t foryou.”

“It’s fine,” I tell him. Having a father who shares many essential qualities with James’s old man, I can understand pretty well the anger he must be feeling rightnow.

“He could have at least pretended he was actually interested in seeing me,” James goes on. “I mean, he flat out said he had no plans to call Minnie. So heobviously—”

“Hang on,” I say, the full weight of his words slowly sinking in. “He only came to seeyou?”

“Yeah,” James says, his voice full of bitterness. “When I asked him about my little sister he stammered and said he didn’t know how to reach her.” He snorts. “What a crock ofshit.”

“Does…does Willa know aboutthis?”

James clenches his fingers again. “I told her. I probably shouldn’t have, but…she called to tell me about Disneyland this morning and she could tell I was upset. And I knew I’d want to know if it was the other wayaround.”