Page 24 of Tethered

He swallows as I grip Riggs’s arms while I hang off his words. “That I wouldn’t survive losing you. I wouldn’t even try. I’d lie down beside you and wait until it was my time to go.”

“Shepard,” I whisper.

“It feels really good to hear you say my name again,” he admits.

I look at Riggs and sigh. “I don’t know what to do here. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not reacting enough. I have no point of reference. I’m not sure I’d know what a functioning relationship would look like if it punched me in the face.”

I stare at Shepard before offering him an olive branch. “Maybe we should work on being friends.”

“And him?” He nods to Riggs, who hasn’t let me go, and that’s the difference between the two.

“Riggs has always been more than my friend. He’s been my protector, my confidant, my sounding board, and my shoulder to cry on. In his own words, he has never taken more than I waswilling to give. And he sure as fuck never asked for anything in return. Hell, you marked me with no regard for how Riggs would feel seeing it. But Riggs just brushed it off. And you know why?”

I look up at the man who is looking down at me with that same look that makes my legs turn to jelly. “He wants me so badly, he’s willing to share me. He’d rather have a piece of me than nothing at all?—”

“And I’m just the guy that walked away.”

“If you werejustanything to me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I wouldn’t be talking about friendship with you, while my heart feels like it’s been put through a blender and your cum runs down my leg,” I snap. Riggs tenses and Shepard’s shoulders slump.

“You wanna be a better man, Shep? Then be a better man. It really is as simple as that. Until you can fight for me the way he does, friendship is all I have to offer. Now I’m going to take a shower and try to get my head in a good place before I see everyone. I think it would be better for both of us if you were gone by the time I come back down.”

I reach up on tiptoe and kiss the scruff on Riggs’s jaw before heading toward the stairs once more. I’m halfway up when I turn around. “Let me know when you’re free, and we’ll have you over for dinner one of these nights.”

Shepard opens his mouth before he shuts it again. He lifts his head and puts his hat back on his head. “I’m free next Thursday.”

“Then Thursday it is.”

“It’s a date.”

I give up. I head upstairs, ignoring Riggs’s chuckle. I’m not sure what he’s finding so funny. If I’m lucky, maybe Shepard will annoy him again while I’m showering, and Riggs can punch him in the face for me.

Chapter Eight

Isit on the sofa next to Dawn, who looks more comfortable in her own clothes. She smiles at the three girls sitting on the floor playing with a tower of Jenga blocks. Riggs has taken David out on an ATV to check the external cameras, but I don’t know how they’ll get to them with all the trees and vines acting as sentries. I told him he might want to install some new ones, but he seemed dead set on thoroughly checking the existing cameras first, and I can’t blame him for that.

“They play well together,” Dawn says softly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“They do. I’m glad.” I look at her. “Were you worried?”

“I don’t know, maybe a little. She doesn’t get to interact with children her own age much.”

“What about at school?”

“You know what that place is like, Calliope. I don’t want to say kids are cruel because no child is born that way. They’re just saying what they’ve seen and heard their parents say.”

“And what are they saying?” I snap, feeling protective of Hannah.

“Just stuff about me that’s not worth repeating.”

I stare at her until she sighs and rubs her hand over her face.

“I can’t say some of it wasn’t true. I was young and wild and thought I could get away with pretty much anything because I was pretty. I wasn’t mean or cruel, and I sure as hell didn’t think I was better than anyone, but I did think I was better than small-town living. I guess the joke’s on me.”

“How did you end up here?”

“I flirted with a stranger. He was much older than me, but he was so handsome and charismatic.” She swallows, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. “We, met in the one honky-tonk bar my small town had. I was feeling reckless and wanting to blow off steam before I jumped on a Greyhound and headed for the city to show my parents I could make something of myself. I was such a fucking cliché. Hell, I still am.”

“Nothing wrong with having dreams, Dawn.”