Page 85 of The Breakup Bookshop

I’ve changed.

As the screen flickers and my interviewer joins the call, I plaster the biggest smile I can muster on my face.

The interview starts well. I answer with ease questions about past successful social media campaigns, my management style, dealing with challenging work scenarios and even the dreaded question about my greatest weakness.

‘That’s great, Ava,’ the interviewer continues, with a wide smile. ‘So, tell me, what are you passionate about?’

I pause. I know what my answer should be. I think back to my London life: juggling client needs and expectations, feeling exhausted and empty at the end of the day, only to have to search for the strength to start all over again the next morning. And everyone around me in the same loop. Endless meetings that leave your social battery flat, nothing left for personal relationships. Listening to Seb’s Teams call and bad business patter have made me realize corporate life isnotwhere my passions lie.

I look around the vibrant colours of The Next Chapter bookshop, from the canary-yellow cabinet to Granny’s recipes on display, the mismatched furniture, the shelves lined with books I love. I blink in disbelief as I really see the space that I have created.

This is what I am passionate about. My bookshop. My home. The excitement of my deliveries every day. The pleasure I get from someone telling me they love a book I’ve recommended. The connection, therealconnection people here have, forged through the breakup bookshop sessions.

My eyes land on the colourful mural of Ullapool created by Rory. It’s a head versus heart decision and, right now, I’m not sure which to follow.

29

Granny always said your choices should reflect your hopes, not your fears.

Seb is in my ear as soon as the phone call ends. He follows me around as I organize books on shelves, pitching my old life back to me. He mentions making a reservation at a sensational new Thai restaurant that has taken TikTok by storm, with queues around the block every night. When I suggest he takes a walk to see some local attractions in Ullapool, he snorts and declares he’ll organize a tourist day for us in London, where we’ll take in all the sights together. There’s talk of breathtaking views from the Sky Garden, and I urge him to walk out of my front door and open his eyes. When he refuses, I decide to go myself and leave him in charge of the bookshop. May as well take advantage of his presence, after all.

As I meet with Eilidh and Donna for the emergency walk down by the seafront, the cold sea air blasts my face. The wind whips my hair as I fill them in on Seb’s proposition that I move back to London.

‘You can’t go back, Ava!’ Donna gasps, as her hand flies to her mouth. ‘And you definitely can’t get back withhim! What is Seb saying about sleeping with Macy?’

I shrug, as I exchange glances with Eilidh, who keeps quiet. ‘Not much. Just that he broke it off. They’re finished.’

‘Wait, did you just say he applied for a job for you?’ Eilidh adds, scrunching up her face. ‘What is this, the 1940s?’

‘It sounds weird, but he saw an opportunity somewhere I’ve always wanted to work.’

Donna shakes her head. ‘That’s creepy and controlling, Ava.’

I sigh. ‘I’m not saying I’ll go. I just… I’m thinking it through. The bookshop is wonderful and I love it, but it’s not exactly been an overnight success financially. The job at the agency is stable. I’d be heading up my own big department. I mean, I’d need to leave the Christmas party early because I’ll be the boss and they’ll all want me to go so they can start having a good time, but that’s only once a year. I could go home and count my money. Throw it in the air with an evil laugh.’

‘You’d miss out on all the fun with that job,’ Donna says. ‘You’d hate that. You like being right in the middle of everything, Ava. Look at the breakup bookshop: imagine you brought everyone together and had to leave us all to it. You like being with people, not managing them.’

‘I couldbuya support group,’ I say, with a small smile.

Donna laughs, while Eilidh nudges her in the side. ‘Don’t encourage her.’

‘What about Rory?’ Donna asks, glancing over at me. ‘Are you really ready to give that up?’

‘I like him. I really do. But he lied to me, too, Donna. He could have told me he remembered me from our childhoods together, but he didn’t. I know it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it is to me.’

‘I tried to persuade him to tell you,’ Donna says. ‘That first day I got back from my holiday, I remembered the two of you had been close when we were younger. But he was mortified you hadn’t recognized him.’

‘But then there’s also Elle. Finlay told me Rory lost the love of his life when he was younger and never got over it. Who am I to stand in the way of their true love?’

‘True love, my arse,’ Donna says, making a face. ‘Elle and Rory were not a good match, no matter what she’s saying. They were like chalk and cheese. They didn’t want any of the same things. I love her to bits, but she’s got rose-tinted glasses. I’ve told her that, and not just because of you. Trust me.’

I do miss Rory. He’s at his happiest helping people, picking up a paintbrush and exploring Ullapool and the world around him. What does he envisage for his future now? It won’t be climbing the corporate ladder, saving for a pension and sending your child to private school, like Seb, that’s for sure. He will make his choice, and I’ll make mine. If, by some miracle, the stars align and we both avoid ex-temptation, then we can have that discussion. For now, it isn’t looking likely. He hasn’t even messaged me. The jury is out on my feelings right now, but he’s made his perfectly clear. The silence is deafening.

‘I’d better get back,’ I say. ‘Can’t leave Seb in charge for too long. He’ll probably have the place on the market by closing time.’

Donna and Eilidh hug me goodbye, and I promise to keep them posted.

As I walk back towards the bookshop, my head is in a spin. I take a big, deep gulp of breath, readying myself to face Seb and be bombarded by his questions and opinions all over again. He’ll probably have come up with some brand-new argument to add to all of his reasons why I should come back to London. I won’t be surprised if he gets my parents on his side next.