Page 97 of Plot Twist

‘I wish I’d been able to tell her. And stand beside you both on your wedding day. I wish she’d had all that. Death is so hard. So fucking final.’

‘It is,’ he agreed.

‘I have an appointment on Wednesday,’ I blurted out. ‘They’re checking for cervical cancer after abnormal cells were found during my smear test.’

He paused.

‘God, Becca,’ he said, eventually. ‘That’s. . .’

‘I don’t want you to say anything about it. I don’t want sympathy or anything. I just wanted to say it out loud just now because I’m shitting myself about it.’

He turned me around and, instead of saying anything, pulled me into a huge hug. His familiar scent brought me back to my early twenties, with all the possibilities that lay before me.

‘You’ll be fine, Becca,’ he said. ‘Of course you will. I’ll come with you to the appointment. Whatever you need.’

‘No, Dad’s coming,’ I lied. ‘And to be frank, he thinks you’re an arsehole. But thanks for offering.’

Dad wasn’t coming. He couldn’t face hospitals since Mum died, but it was easier to lie. I didn’t want Drew with me. I could face it on my own.

Drew pulled away from the hug and arched an eyebrow.

‘Would you mind clarifying with your dad that I’m not actually an arsehole?’

‘He thinks you cheated on me and then stole my best friend.’ I shrugged. ‘Not sure I can change his mind. But I’ll see what I can do.’

Outside the cemetery gates, two girls wandered along with their arms linked. Heads bent, they were in deep discussion about something, and at exactly the same time they threw their heads back and cackled. Across the road, a couple strolled along holding hands.

Turning back to face Rae’s grave, I asked Drew to give us a minute. He obliged and walked away, waiting for me by the gates.

I knelt down.

‘Hey, you,’ I said. ‘Thanks for your letter. It was a total shock, by the way. You and Mr Whippy, who would have thought it, eh? But I’m not angry with you, Rae. It wouldn’t have been my place to be angry with you. I didn’t know that at first but I do now. I’m sorry that you thought I would be. But you know you and me falling out never lasted. Even when you made me talk to random guys in bars or made me do karaoke when I didn’t want to. We’d always end up laughing about it, wouldn’t we? We always came out the other side.

‘And once we did, I would have organised the most epic hen do for you, Rae. We’d have made Linda do shots. Hired those butlers in the buff. We’d have danced into the early hours. We would have had the absolute best time of our lives, seen you out of your single life in style.

‘And then you’d have married Drew. He’s besotted with you, Rae. I mean, he’s a total mess right now but I know why. I understand. We’re friends again, though. I know you’d have liked to hear that. I’m actually glad you got together with him.

‘I’m still a mess about it all. I’ve quit my job. My boss pushed me too far, Rae, and I just told her to shove it. And I went to meet Riley, you know, the book lady? Well, turns out she’s not actually a lady. Oh gawd, you’d have laughed so much when I told you. I packed up all my stuff to stay with her and it turns out she’s actually a GUY. And a gorgeous one at that. I kind of fell for him, too. But, oh, it’s so complicated. He has a past, I’m a mess. Did I mention I’m a mess?’

I closed my eyes, tears falling onto my cheeks, and whispered.

‘On the day. . . you know, you died, I went for a smear test. You know how much we always hated them, right? That was a real shock of adult life when we had to go for our first one.

‘Anyway, turns out I have abnormal cells. It could be nothing but you know, a part of me keeps thinking about you. . . You never expected to die, did you? Yet here we are. . .’

A huge sob escaped my mouth and I buried my head into my knees. The cold air whipped around my head and I shivered, pulling my knees in tighter towards me. Next thing I knew, Drew was at my side again.

‘I think we should get you home,’ he said.

‘Yes.’ I nodded, in agreement.

‘Bye, Rae,’ I said, tears streaming down my face. ‘I love you.’

Drew hung his head.

We walked along the path, our feet crunching in sync on the stones beneath our feet. Stars were starting to pop up in the sky. I wiped away my tears and gulped in a deep breath of evening air.

‘Do you talk to her when you go?’ I asked.