Page 7 of Vow of Desire
Matteo’s knee brushes against mine and I jerk away. “You’re afraid of me,” he says, studying my face. It feels like my blush is a permanent fixture on my cheeks.
“I don’t know you. Actually, that’s not true. I do know you. I know you kidnapped Leo Detti’s wife and you tried to kill him. How can I trust a man like that?”
“Gabriel promised me Emma’s hand in marriage and then he took his word back. I didn’t appreciate it. I had to act.”
“So why are you still alive? I’ve heard stories of Gabriel. He tends to eliminate any problems that come his way.”
“Which is what he’s done now. Eliminate me as a problem by marrying us together. I was offended at first. I thought youwere a consolation prize. But then I learned that your father is high ranking and that you would make a find choice for a wife. So I agreed to marry you for peace. I won’t go to war against Gabriel or Leo Detti or your father by extension. I have made my peace with marrying you. And I must say, having seen you now, Luciana, I am more than happy to marry you. You are a beautiful woman and I am a practical man. This is the best outcome.”
The way he speaks is so… clinical. Almost no emotion. What kind of things has he gone through in life to be this way?
“So you won’t hurt me?” I ask.
“If you’re asking if I intend to beat you… then no. I don’t have any desire to beat women.”
“Yet, you don’t have any reservations about kidnapping them.”
His eyes narrow as he looks my face over. “You’re a surprise, Luciana. Docile and yet there’s a fighting spirit to you. It’s interesting to say the least.”
“I was taught to be nice. Respectful of the people around me. I’ll be the same to you. You will be my husband. But I have to stand up for myself. I am not a doormat and I have never been.”
He turns to one of the cakes – a vanilla one with almond crumbles on it – and takes a bite. “It’s good. You should try it.” He scoops up another piece and holds it out for me.
“I can get my own piece,” I remind him.
“I’m sure you can but I’m offering. And didn’t you just say that you’re polite?” He holds the cake out to me and after a moment, I wrap my lips around his fork. It makes me blush knowing my lips are right where his were just a second ago.
I can’t deny though that the cake is delicious.
“It really is good,” I admit.
“But maybe too bland? Let’s try another one.” He scoops up a piece of a chocolate one with caramel frosted on top. “Here.”
My eyes are locked with Matteo’s as I take the second bite but I can only hold his gaze for so long. “It is delicious.”
He tries it himself and nods. “It really is. Shall we try more?”
I feel like I’m going to lose my mind trying these cakes. Between the way Matteo is looking at me and feeding me it’s all too much. He’s not a good man and yet he will be my husband. Maybe he’s not so terrible.
But I can’t forget what my father told me. And despite the fact that my father didn’t prepare me for Matteo, he has never actually lied to me about anything. I know all of what Matteo did is true.
“I like the chocolate one,” I blurt out.
“More daring. Not too bland. But still simple. Is that you, Luciana?”
“It’s just a cake, Mr. Marani.”
“You can call me Matteo, you know. We will be married.”
“I’m not sure I can. You’re still a stranger to me. It’s too informal. I think I’ll just stick to using your last name for now.”
“All right. It will be your last name soon enough.” He takes another bite of the chocolate cake I chose. “This really is delicious. I think you made the right choice.”
My stomach feels like it’s going to drop right to my feet. I didn’t even think about my last name changing. Santori to Marani. I’ll no longer be my own person.
But have I been my own person ever? I’ve always belong to my father and now I’ll belong to Matteo. It’s what I was taught. A woman belongs to the men in her life. I thought I was ready for all of it.
And now, I know I’m not ready for any of it.
