Page 8 of Vow of Desire

Choosing a wedding dress should be the happiest day of my life and yet, I feel like I’m going through the motions. Like I’m a walking zombie.

Aurora and one of my friends, Sienna, another mafia girl, join me.

“What about this one?” Aurora asks, pulling out a mermaid style dress from the rack. “It’s beautiful.”

“But not really Luciana’s style,” Sienna says. “What about this one instead?” She shows me a simple, flowy gown. No lace. No thrills.

“That’s more you,” I gently remind Sienna.

“Oh. You’re right.” With a flush, she sets the dress back onto the rack. “I just can’t help but imagine what my own wedding will be like. It won’t be the same without my father there.” Sienna recently lost her father, Carlo, to a mafia related incident. I wasn’t told much, just that he died. With her blonde hair and soft features, she was always pretty and pale but after losing her dad, Sienna has looked more and more like a ghost.

“I know,” I murmur, running my hand down her arm. “But you still have your mother. Focus on that.”

“And you still have your father. He’ll get to walk you down the aisle. I’m sure that makes you happy. You always dreamed of your wedding, Luci.”

I force a smile to my face but I can tell Sienna realizes right away that I’m faking it. “I have always dreamed of this.” So why does it feel like more of a nightmare than anything else?

“We’ll find you the perfect dress,” Aurora says. “I promise.”

“The perfect dress for the perfect wedding,” I murmur. The perfect wedding to the perfect husband. The husband who has kidnapped a woman before and tried to hurt Gabriel and his allies.

None of this is perfect, I realize. But all I can do is walk closer and closer into this nightmare.

Chapter Three

Luciana

“Have you found a dress?” Matteo asks as we look at bouquets of flowers. The shop owner nervously follows behind, like she’s worried we won’t choose any flowers for our wedding.

I stop before a bouquet full of roses and lilies. “I did.”

“And?”

“And? I found a dress. Isn’t that enough? You don’t get to see it until the wedding day.”

Matteo smirks and doesn’t respond. Instead, he nods at the bouquet I’m considering. “Lillies are notoriously difficult to deal with and roses are cliché. We can find something else.”

I don’t move. “I like these ones. And this is my wedding day too. I should have what I want. I’ve been planning for this day my entire life.”

He stands before me, towering over me with his height. “You are right. This is your day but it’s also mine and I don’t like these flowers.”

“I’m the one carrying the bouquet. Doesn’t it matter what I want?”

“And I’m the one marrying you when I was promised someone else. We don’t always get what we want.” His words make me flinch.

I was taught to be polite my entire life so I force a smile on my face and say, “All right. We can choose different flowers.”

“Perfect.” He turns away from me and points to a different bouquet. This one full of pink dahlias and purple peonies. “This one will suit you.”

I stop myself from wincing. The bouquet is so… little girl like and the last thing I want is to be a little girl. But it’s what Matteo wants and I have to make him happy. I will be married to him – a man who has shown he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. The last thing I should be doing is pushing his buttons.

“All right,” I whisper. “We’ll go with those ones.” My dream wedding is slipping through my fingers before my very eyes.

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

“He’s frustrating,” I complain to Sienna, flopping onto her couch. At least at Sienna’s home, I can experience more freedom. At my house, my father never let me put my feet up on the couch but at Sienna’s, I can do so. Her mother never cares. “Ifeel like I have to do everything he wants. But what about what I want?”

“They’re just flowers, Luci. It doesn’t matter. What matters is making him happy. That’s what my father taught me. Make your husband happy.” A little sad hiccup escapes her. “Except, he’s gone now and I don’t know what I’ll do for a husband. I have no protection. It’s just me and my mom.”