Page 31 of Vow of Desire

“Yes?” He keeps his eyes locked with mine as he touches me. It’s all so intimate. So taboo.

I find myself lifting my left leg to seek more of the pleasure he’s giving me. “It feels good,” I whisper.

His smirk tells me everything. “Good. I can show you so much pleasure, Luciana. I can help you get rid of this tension inside of you. Just give in to me.”

His finger is like magic on my nub. Flicking and rolling it around. He knows exactly what to do.

“Oh,” I sigh as my hips arch into his hand. With his eyes on mine, it’s like he has me under a spell and there’s no getting out of it. No saving me from my husband.

“Isn’t this better than being tied up?”

“Yes.” My hands grip his biceps without thinking about it. I just need something to steady me. Something to make me feel real because in this moment, it all feels like a fantasy.

“This is what can happen if you give in to me. You don’t have to fear me, Luciana. We can have fun together. You can do your duty while still enjoying yourself. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”

“But you only married me for peace. Not for love. Not for me.” My admission is vulnerable. The most vulnerable I’ve ever been with him.

“I did. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I want you more than you realize.” He captures my lips in a heated kiss. I lean into it, whether I mean to or not. It just happens.

Matteo grips my thigh and brings it higher around his waist before touching my clit again. He rolls it around over and over and over again. I think I might die from this pleasure. It’s all so new and so perfect and so terrifying. I can’t make sense of it.

A spike of pressure builds in my body.

“What’s happening?” I whisper against his lips.

“You really are innocent, aren’t you? A true good girl. What does it feel like?” He runs his fingers over my nub harder. Firmer. The pressure builds and builds inside of me.

“It feels like… like…”

“Let go, Luciana.”

His permission is what I need.

A burst of pleasure explodes through me as my body tingles and shakes. I can’t keep my leg up but Matteo grabs it, holding on tightly.

The pleasure lingers in my body for a long moment after as I catch my breath.

“That was an orgasm,” he explains, gently kissing my lips. “You have heard of that before?”

“No.” I realize in this moment that my sex education might not have been as thorough as it should have been.

“It’s a feeling of immense pleasure. That’s what I can give you, Luciana. You don’t have to be so afraid.”

In this moment, I believe his words. I can do my duty to my husband and not feel ashamed of it. I can still be the perfect wife everyone expects of me.

But that thought makes my spine tense.

Matteo notices and pulls his hand away. The moment he does, I only feel cold. “It’s going to take a while for you to learn, I can see.” He puts my underwear back into place and lowers my dress around my waist. “If you want to do it this way, then we can. But you’re making it harder on yourself then you need to be.”

A flash of anger hits me. “This is all new for me. I need time.”

“Fine. Take your time.” His tone isn’t warm or comforting. It’s only cold. I can see Matteo slip his mask back into place. He’s one to talk: always pretending himself.

I’m the one to leave the bedroom before he can. Before he can see how much he affects me. Before he can see how much I liked what he did to me.

Before he can see how much he’s hurting me.

I stare at the knife in the butcher’s block on the kitchen counter. I let Matteo touch me so intimately. I let him show me pleasure and it was perfect.