Page 184 of Last First Kiss

“You get me at my best. My absolute worst,” Jordan says. “You see my flaws and never turn away from me. And I’m terrified of losing that. Of losing you. But I don’t give up. I never quit.”

Jamie snorts like he’s well aware of that fact.

Jordan takes a cautious step forward. “There is no ‘right’ person for me,” he manages through his stubborn sinuses. “There’s just the man I love. Easily. Naturally.”

Another step.

“I don’t know how to love anyone like I love you, Jamie.”

Then another.

“I’m willing to suffer through a hundred bad dinners with your parents.” He chokes on a laugh. “All the fights. All their bullshit. I will sit there and grin and hold your hand through everything.”

Now, Jamie sniffs, but he’s still quiet.

Jordan decides to continue. “You don’t have to chase that feeling anymore. I’m right here.” He gets closer. “I’m yours. If you want me.”

Jamie doesn’t back away.

“Because I want you,” Jordan adds. “Your bad dancing and rom-com obsessions and cheating atMario Kart. I wantallof you.”

It’s quiet for way too long. Jamie bites his bottom lip. The front of his hair’s pushed back and there are deep lines creasing his brow. With every second, the ache rises in Jordan. The rejection is imminent.

“My turn?” Jamie says, low and rough.

Jordan can’t say no. He can’t beg Jamie to just tell him what he’s thinking. He made up this silly game. He has to see it through to the end.

Even if it ends him.

He nods. “Your turn.”

Jamie takes the ball to the free-throw line. He tries dribbling, but there’s a reason Jamie played soccer in high school for approximately three days. Coordination is not his strength. He chases after the ball, cheeks flushed. His form is terrible, but Jordan doesn’t correct him.

It’s the last thing he’s worried about.

The ball clanks on the rim but, shockingly, drops in.

“I ended things with Sloane,” Jamie says, direct and to the point.

“You did?”

Jamie doesn’t answer. He grabs the ball and shoots again. This time, it barely wobbles through the net.

“I was so mad at you at the engagement dinner because…” he trails off, dragging a gruff hand through his hair. “BecauseIneeded to do that.”

Jordan blinks, confused.

Jamie sighs. “I appreciate what you did that night. But I don’t want people to stand up against my parents for me. I need to learn to do it for myself. I’m an adult, Jordan. I don’t want to be rescued. Let me save myself.”

“Yeah,” Jordan says. “Okay.”

A frown overtakes Jamie’s face.

“They’ll always be my parents,” he says. “And they’ll always use that as a way to control me instead of love me unlessI’mthe one to shut them down.”

Jordan pinches the inside of his cheek between his teeth. He understands Jamie’s anger now. Why he lashed out at him. Jordan thought he was defending Jamie. But he took away the chance for Jamie to defend himself.

He didn’t have faith that Jamie would.