Page 185 of Last First Kiss

“I’m sorry,” he says, soft and sincere.

Jamie marches back to the line and shoots. The ball misses the hoop completely. It sails to the left and hits the fence.

Jamie, however, doesn’t seem to care. “I had a long talk with my parents,” he starts.

“Uh, Jamie. You missed?”

He ignores Jordan. “I told them I’m done. With all their bullshit. That if they couldn’t love me for the man I’ve become, I don’t need them.”

Jordan smiles.

“There’s no bargaining with how I live my life. Who I love,” Jamie says confidently. “I’ll give up my apartment. The fucking Jeep. Whatever. Their money won’t decide who I am anymore.”

A new ripple of tears fills Jordan’s eyes. He’s so proud of Jamie. No, he’shappyfor him. He’s always been proud of Jamie for being himself, unapologetically. But he’s happy Jamie knows he deserves better.

Jordan rolls him the ball.

Jamie kicks it away.

“Okay,” Jordan says, “so there’s this thing called rules and—”

Jamie cuts him off. “It was so hard to stay away from you. While you were planning the wedding. After I rejected you last year. Every time I saw you before that. After our first kiss.”

He grins crookedly, even as his nose turns red. As plump tears slide down his cheeks.

“It was so hard not to call up Denz,my best friend in the entire world,” he goes on with a small laugh, “and tell him how much I wanted you.”

Jordan’s heart climbs his throat. “It was?”

“Inconceivably hard.”

“Did you learn that word fromThe Princess Bride?”

“Jordan, have you not been paying attention? I learneverythingfrom romances.”

He crosses the court. Stops just short of Jordan. His eyes circle Jordan’s face. Behind his lashes, there’s something raw and tortured. Jordan’s terrified this is the part where Jamie says he can’t.

That this isn’t the love story he imagined for himself.

“I’m happy you’re discovering more about yourself,” Jamie tells him. “About what feels good for you.”

“There’s a ‘but,’ isn’t there?”

Jamie nods, brow pinched. “But when I said you needed to figure yourself out, I didn’t mean you needed to label your sexuality.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

Cautiously, Jamie’s hand grabs Jordan’s hip. He waits to see if Jordan will pull away.

Jordan doesn’t.

“I meant I wanted you to feel like yourself, always.” Jamie leans down to press their sweaty foreheads together. “Back then, I saw two different Jordans. The Jordan who had to be the best and the one who wasn’t afraid to be himself. I just wanted you to be comfortable being the second one.”

Jordan tenses from his toes to his shoulders.

He wasthatJordan. Competitive. Flawless in front of everyone.