Page 78 of To Have & To Hold

“Nathaniel!” Emilia called after him in shock. The duke froze and Emilia stepped towards him. “I know you are angry with me, and you have every right to be. I never wished to lie to you.”

Nathaniel turned to face her when she reached for his hand. “That does not make it hurt any less.”

From the moment Emilia had chased after him, she had wished for him to look at her. But now, seeing the pain in hiseyes was almost more than she could bear. She was quite certain she would have preferred him to be angry.

“I promise, I will tell you everything.” She searched his face for any flicker of hope that what had just shattered between them was not broken beyond repair. “I only need to speak with my brother first. He believes that I am in need of rescue, and I need to assure him that I am safe.”

Nathaniel’s eyes held hers, and Emilia could feel the breaking of his heart as deeply as she could her own.

He nodded his head. “Very well.” His voice nearly broke under the weight of his emotions. “I need a moment as well. I will be in my study.” He turned away from her quickly.

Emilia stood still as she watched him disappear down the hall, taking the pieces of her heart with him.

“He seems delightful,” Alexander murmured from behind her.

Emilia spun around and shoved against his chest. “What have you done?” She asked again.

Alexander stumbled. “I came to ensure that you were safe.”

Emilia crossed her arms and huffed. “You could have written a letter!”

“A letter?” His brows shot upwards.

“Yes, Alexander. Ink written on parchment.” Emilia’s patience was wearing dangerously thin. “You managed to send me one or two over the past two years.”

Alexander shook his head, “It was too risky.”

“Risky?” Emilia shouted. She threw both hands into the air before gesturing wildly toward the shattered window in the entrance hall. “You arrived at my home in the middle of the night, broke a window, assaulted my husband, and somehow you concluded that was less dangerous than writing a letter?”

“I could not risk Lord Moorfield discovering where I was.”

“Yet you had no objection to attracting the attention of half the English countryside!”

Alexander rubbed a hand over his jaw in frustration. “If you were in danger, I could not trust you to tell me the truth. I had to see you with my own eyes.” His gaze followed the path Nathaniel had just taken. “I had to know that you were not forced into a marriage. Not after…”

“I was not forced to marry Nathaniel,” Emilia interjected.

“That is not what I heard.”

“What you heard were lies!” Emilia snapped. “It was simply a misunderstanding. The duke offered to marry me and save my reputation, not because he did anything to tarnish it, but because he is genuinely a good man.” The tears burned in Emilia’s eyes. Nathaniel was not simply a good man, he was the best man she had ever known.

He was kind, and caring with a sense of duty and responsibility where most men only saw burdens. The way he lived his life changed the way one looked at the world. His smile warmed every inch of her, even the dark and barren parts of her heart she thought would never see the light again.

Her brother had cared for her her entire life and made sure she was safe and provided for, no matter the cost. But with Nathaniel, for the first time in her life she felt not only safe, but cherished. And now she was the reason he was hurting.

Alexander stayed silent, but Emilia could see the doubt in his eyes.

“He saved me before, Alexander.”

A crease formed between his brows. “What do you mean?”

“That morning, on the Thames. The man in the boat, who jumped into the river…”

Alexander’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. “The duke was there that morning?”

“Yes.”

Alexander’s fists clenched and he cursed under his breath. “He knows, Emilia.”