Page 111 of Blue in the Deep Blue Sea

“Princess,

Dad is sick. And I know you’re angry because you never replied to any of the letters I sent you, but I want you to know Daddy loves you. Even though your mother and I never got along, I thanked God every day that I met her, because she gave me you.

I know I put you through a lot, but you were always better than me. I got tangled in some business I never wanted to be part of, and I had to leave. Sarah and I hid two paintings on the island that I want you to find, but please be careful of the traps. We placed them there because we didn’t want anyone getting to the scrolls before us.

I only have a few days left, and I’ll have to hand all of this over to Annie’s dad. He’s the only honest man I can trust. And I heard about Annie. I know you loved her very much. Losing people is hard, but living after them is even harder, so make sure you keep working and surround yourself with people, because grief can eat you alive. I lost my friend Sarah the same way. And never blame yourself, because those were simply the decisions they made at the time. Their minds were sick, and when the mind is sick, there is no cure. You can only hope that one day they won’t be trapped in the dark anymore.

I hope one day you’ll forgive me for leaving.

With love,

Dad.”

The closure I got was supposed to bring me peace, but a storm raged inside my chest. Thunder rolled through me without stopping, leaving no room to breathe. A strange feeling settled in my mind. Everyone kept leaving, yet everyone asked me to forgive them.

And I was just… empty.

Oliver was gone.

And I had no reason to keep going or forgiving when my life no longer had any meaning.

I limped beside Luca, my eyes hollow, with no tears left to cry.

He helped me down onto the rocks, then to the ladder leading to a small police boat, where Annie’s dad was waiting.

He opened his arms to me, and I just looked at him, tears filling my eyes. My vision blurred, and I threw myself into his hands.

People find their way to you, whether you want them to or not. No one is truly alone, and you only realize that after a tremendous loss. Those people can’t replace the ones you’ve lost, and they can’t take away your pain. They’re simply there because, when the ground disappears beneath your feet, you need someone to hold your hand.

By the side of the boat, I noticed the two scrolls they had recovered, labeled for the Art Museum on the Amalfi Coast.

Treasure was still treasure. It just wasn’t gold.

And I finally understood what Sarah Sinclair had meant about value. We never held it close enough. We saw the gold before we saw the beauty in everything else.

The boat’s engine rumbled to life and carried us away.

I closed my eyes and whispered to myself.

“In the deep deep blue sea there was a blue blue shark, and a blue blue shark swam further deep deep down, and deep deep down there was a sunken ship, and inside a sunken ship was a blue blue chest, and inside of a blue blue chest was someone dead.”

28

BLUE

Six months later

My mother left for work, leaving me alone. It was the first time I’d been alone in months. Everyone had been coming to check on me. Even my mother, who I’d thought hated me, pitied me now and stayed by my side, as if God forbid I did something stupid that ended in another tragedy. Annie’s dad kept checking on me, growing closer to my mum with every visit. Oliver’s dad was always here, asking how he died. Everyone else were just neighbors, curious enough to come by, asking how I was, how I’d survived such a tragedy. Isabella’s dad still asked if he could go and bring her back, but it was all useless, because I hadn’t spoken since the night I lost Oliver.

My therapist says I’m mute because of the heartbreak, that grief stole my voice. It’s not that I didn’t try. My brain simplyforgot how to work after I watched him disappear into the deep blue sea.

Words no longer meant anything when I didn’t have him to share them with. I thought about ending my own life more than once, but every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face, lecturing me about how stupid that decision would be. So I slept instead. I slept because I could only hear him and see him in my dreams. I ignored everything else just to spend a little more time with him.

I lay alone in my bed, wrapped in white sheets like a corpse, waiting for sleep to find me so I could see him again. I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, letting the light slip away until thousands of stars shimmered behind my eyelids.

And we were all there.

Isabella and Gianni had moved to Paris. Annie and Inno lived in Greece. Oliver and I stayed on Li Galli. Eventually, they would all come to visit, and we’d hold our Light Festival. We’d sit on the rock beneath a sky full of stars while Annie told us stories about Callisto. When midnight came, we’d each write down a wish and set it in the sea.