Page 52 of The Order of the Bitter Hunt

“I know. That was wrong of me…” They exhale slowly. “And Idosupport you.”

“Where’s the but?”

“But I’m afraid of losing you. That’s all. I thought it was obvious.”

Not exactly what I’m expecting. How am I supposed to keep fighting when they clearly still care? And, of course, I still care.I could live a thousand years past Tobey, and they would still be important to me.

My heart sinks, and I look away, pressing my lips together. “Well, it wasn’t. Especially not when you told me… what was it you said? You can’t trust me because of something my father may or may not have done?”

“Idotrust you, and I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t true—it isn’t—and we don’t need to let things like that get in our way again.”

“I’m afraid too.” The admission comes out small. Weak. “Did you ever consider that?”

“Of course, I did.”

“I need you.” My eyes lock with theirs. “I don’t know what will come from spying on the Order, but you and I must stick together. There are enough enemies on this campus. We don’t know how many people are against us, and we don’t need to make enemies of each other.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

I press my lips together. “I can’t do this without you. All the strength and speed in the world doesn’t mean I can do this alone, and Jun?—”

“Right. We need to talk about Jun.”

“Not right now. He doesn’t matter right now. We matter. I need you by my side, and I feel like you’re going to abandon me every time you wear that judgmental look of yours.”

“I don’t have a judgmental look.”

“Yes. You do.”

They press their lips together.

“That!” I point. “That’s exactly the look I’m talking about.”

“Well, I’m sorry.” They wipe a hand across their face. “I want to be here for you and go along with your plans. I know how much you’ve done for me—and for Poppy. For our mission. I’m not taking that for granted. Honest.”

“You’d better not.”

“I wasn’t doing a good job before, but I’m here for you now. I swear. I’m all the way in.”

“And you trust me? Not just when it’s convenient for you. I want you to trust me no matter what.”

This has always been the hard part for Tobey. Trust. Whether it was mistrusting me, Caldwell, or their father, who gambled away what little family money they had and abandoned them. I’m asking a lot of them, but now, they don’t hesitate.

“I do,” they say. “We’re sticking together, and we’re going to do this—for Poppy.”

“No.” I reach across the table and give their hand a firm squeeze. “Not for Poppy. She’s gone. We can’t keep doing everything for her. We’re doing this forus—to keep you safe and to make sure we never find out if what Amelia said is true.”

Her parting words haunt me, though Tobey never brings them up. Amelia said the school has bigger plans for Tobey. A month has passed, and I still wonder if it’s true. My father knows they’re a human. Why hasn’t someone kicked them out yet?

What if the Order is involved?

Tobey squeezes my hand. With their lack of strength, it feels like the slightest pressure, but it grounds me.

“Forusthen,” they say. “And I mean it—but there’s more I’m worried about.”

“What is it?”

“Your feeding habits.” They eye my empty goblet. “I thought you preferred it fresh…”