Page 297 of Tell Me I'm Enough

I swallow, then soften up, “Thank you.”

“Of course, man.”

It all hits me—what a mess my life is.

“Bash…” I say quietly. “I…I need help.”

“I know,”he says gently.“That’s another reason I want you to stay with me. I want to help you figure this out. I want you to get the help you need.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll come.”

“Good,”he says.“We’ll figure it out, okay? I’ve got your back.”

59

Mason

I’m standing in…water?

It’s up to my knees.

I don’t know where I am or what’s happening.

I’m so confused right now.

The water is still. There’s no waves or movement at all. It’s just…quiet. The kind of quiet that makes you aware of your own breathing.

The water is starting to rise, hitting my waist now. When I look around again, I see my brothers are here. They aren’t struggling or scared; they’re…playing. Like this is just a pool. Like they know they’re safe because I’m around.

I’m glad they can’t see that I’m panicking as my footing keeps slipping.

For a moment, I’m actually scared.

What am I going to do if it keeps rising? I don’t want to leave them here alone without someone to protect them. I don’t want to drown here and them think I just left them behind.

I wade closer to them, close enough that I can reach them. They’re still playing, splashing, and laughing as if nothing bad can happen here.

The water has stopped rising for a moment, enough that I’m able to grab Asher and lift him up. Then I grab Easton and spin both of them around.

I smile because I don’t want them to be scared. No matter what’s happening here, I want them to know they’re safe. They can be kids. They don’t need to worry about the world around them. They don’t need to fear it.

The water rises some more. It’s at my chest now. It’s cold and heavier than it should be. My arms start to ache. But they’re still smiling at me. They trust me. So I tighten my grip.

The water reaches my shoulders now, and they don’t even notice. I tilt my chin higher, making me glance up. The sky is completely blank. There’s no sun out here, not even any clouds. It’s just white that stretches as far out as I can see.

My legs feel like they’re sinking into mud or something underneath me. I try to shift my feet and lift them up, but they don’t move.

“You’re so strong,” Easton shouts, laughing.

I keep smiling at him so that he won’t know anything’s wrong, but my arms are shaking now, and they’re starting to hurt. Everything is getting more intense from the panic.

The water reaches my mouth, and I have to hold my breath. My ears are covered by water, and it makes their laughter get quieter.

And then…I feel like I can sense something’s behind me. It doesn’t feel like a person. Just this feeling that I am not alone here.