Page 59 of Sword & Shadow
Her heart thumped with anger. “You don’t have to do anything.”
He looked heartbroken. “Please, Evylin.”
Shaking her head even more vehemently, Evylin couldn’t give up. She had to find a way to convince him. She had to keep the Relic.
Looking up into the softness and care in Deckard’s eyes, Evylin knew there was one final chance—one last feint she could employ.
Evylin stepped closer, resting her hands on Deckard’s chest. “Jonn, don’t you see?” she whispered, her raspy tone inviting. Her hands slid up to rest on his neck.
He grew rigid beneath her touch as she threaded her fingers through the curls that brushed the nape of his neck. A thrill of magic tingled in her hands. Her heart leaped, the comfort of the Day Relic weaving through her veins, melting the icy dread. Even with the simple touch, she could feel the excitement rising within her at the anticipation of kissing him again.
The whisper of magic within her urged her for more. She rolled onto the balls of her feet, lifting her chin.Not just akiss,her instincts told her. That wasn’t enough anymore. After months of marriage and weeks of coming to know him and care for him, she wanted all of her husband—and to know what effectthatcould have upon her Warrior’s senses.
Evylin could hear Deckard’s breath coming out in a staggered exhale. He desired this as much as she did. His chin dipped subconsciously. Running her thumb along the corner of his jaw, just below his ear, Evylin whispered, “We can be together this way.”
With a sudden jerk, Deckard knocked her hands off him, rapidly backing away. He glared at her, hurt flashing in his eyes. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed. “Not when you know—”
Evylin did know. She knew exactly how Deckard felt about her. But she was too desperate, too afraid of falling back into the despair of Hewitt’s death to care.
“You want me,” she said with an accusing tone. “That’swhat I know. You want me to be your wife in full. You’ve wanted it for months now. Well, you can have it.”
She stepped closer. “Just let me keep the Relic.”
Deckard immediately sidestepped her. “Absolutely not.”
“I won’t offer myself again, Jonn,” she said, anger overcoming her rationale. How could he claim to care for her and still take away the one thing keeping her sane? How dare he reject her after all this time to protect his bloody ethics? “Let me keep the Relic, and I’ll give you what you want.”
“That isnotwhat I want,” he replied sharply. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you understand what you’re offering?”
Evylin refused to be ashamed. Not when the alternative was an aching and inescapable pain. If it kept her from falling back into despair, she’d happily prostitute herself to him. After all, she’d begun to desire their union herself for the last month, purely for enjoyment’s sake. It would only be a formality, finally taking him to her bed in exchange for keeping the Relic.
Seeing her determination, Deckard’s face twisted in disappointment. “I won’t entertain this conversation any longer. Give the Relic back to Rafferty.”
Her hands curled into fists. “You can’t make me.”
His eyes went wide. “Perhaps I can’t. But if you don’t do it of your own volition, I will allow Auden and Ilain to use whatever force necessary.”
She laughed with empty, caustic mirth. “You wouldn’t let them hurt me. And with the Relic, I could do far more damage than they’d be willing to risk.”
“Not if I give them the other two Relics,” he countered. Slowly, he took a step forward. “Whatever it takes, Evylin, I will protect you—even from yourself.”
The shaking had taken over Evylin’s whole body now. Tears of fury filled her eyes as she backed away. If she thought it would do any good, she’d attack, forcing him to submit under violence. But she knew such a recourse would only convince him of the justification of his decision even more.
“You’ll lose me,” she warned. “If you make me do this, I won’t ever forgive you.”
Deckard’s pinched brow and dejected frown gave his sharp features a stricken, resigned cast. “That’s a risk I’m going to have to take.”
Evylin glared at him. “Altruistic bastard,” she spat.
He simply ducked his head, shoulders hunched as though he carried the weight of Terraeus alone.
She wanted to yell at him, to tell him that his disappointment was his own damn fault. She finally understood Thom’s dislike for his brother. While Deckard did everything for the sake of morality and goodness, he made the rest of the world into his inferiors. He made it seem as though she was being selfish and weak by doing what she had to do to protect herself. And she hated him for it.
Just as her anger reached its crest, the warm pulse of the Day Relic began to defuse Evylin’s fear. It swept over her body, soothing her trembling muscles. The anguish and fury in her heart eased even as a tear dropped over her lashes. It coursed a path down her cheek. Yet, she didn’t feel the sorrow it held, succumbing to the Day magic’s calming effect.
Evylin took the first clear breath she’d managed since the start of the conversation. Why had she been so upset? Yes, Deckard was self-sacrificing. That was part of what made him so wonderful. He might be trying to take the Relic from her, but it was out of concern for her. And she’d cursed him for it.
Evylin put her hands on her cheeks as a small, embarrassed laugh slipped out of her.
